I’m sure you know who it is so I don’t need to introduce myself. From what I’ve heard and read, sources say you’re omniscient. I bet you already know what I was going to write about. I’ve fallen into the habit of writing letters so I couldn’t forget to write to the man with the biggest following. I have a lot of issues and most of them actually concern you. I’m certain you don’t mind my inquisition, that’s probably what made the first church stand strong to date.
Recently I’ve come under a lot of fire. I’ve been called everything from confused to an atheist. Do you think I have no beliefs? I asked you questions before but you never seem to answer my concerns, it’s like you suddenly became a celebrity; all you have is, “No comment.” A lot of people will talk, say that I’m starting to lose it, but if you gave me the brain to think, why are your people castigating me for using it?
The people you sent came over to my land and called my people heathens. A primitive people. A society without beliefs. Do you really think my people had no beliefs? The mountains, the trees, lakes and everything that naturally came to be as a result of your magnificence? I asked someone a question and she told me I’m too confused for life. When people pray to you and it works, that counts as a blessing, but when they pray to others and get, it’s termed as evil?
Sometimes I wish everything was as simple as following the Ten Commandments. In that case, I’d easily allow myself to see out my life under the same laws but it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’m taught about forgiveness every now then. Hell, I even give fourth chances to people who screw me over and they still do the same thing. So how come you can’t do the same? You are the ultimate being, so technically, you have power over Lucifer. Why do we need to suffer over something you can easily bring an end to?
Can’t you just forgive him? I’m simply a human being, what power do I have over a spirit? The same spirit that was almost as big as you in terms of hierarchy if I may add. The cardinal commandment is to love your brother as you love yourself. Does that only apply to humans? I do my best to always accommodate people but it’s very hard when religion teaches me otherwise. The pastor says don’t judge but judges me because of my friends. What is the ideal Christian life?
I bet you already know most people think I’m an agnostic, atheist or pagan. You know me better though, you created me. You gave me a mind and with that I was supposed to use to analyze everything I’m taught and make conscious decisions. This is me analyzing everything and pointing out what I feel doesn’t add up. I want to believe everything but the people doing your job aren’t doing much to convince me otherwise.
What’s a church? The people? The building? The belief? Me? One way or another everyone has their own interpretation of what the church is. I’m not a model Christian but I bet I live my life openly enough. The Catholics told me drinking alcohol wasn’t wrong as long as I didn’t get drunk. The Protestants judge me for seeing me in a bar. Should I cut off the people I consider friends just because religion doesn’t agree with them? Or should I try to make show them better?
Where do we draw the line? From the little Christian education I received I learnt that no sin is greater than the other. Theoretically, I would agree but technically, that’s a far fetched idea. In the bible, same sex relationship is frowned upon but we have gay bishops. Selfishness is discouraged but we have religious leaders making a living out of the desperate. Who is fooling who?
The Christian faith is built on the model of Jesus Christ. If anything I read was correct, Jesus led a very humble life and encouraged his followers to do the same. So where did the prosperity gospel come from? The more you have is as a result of giving. Who comes up with these things? Why do we have pastors on the Forbes list? Pastors are living in mansions but preaching to people in the slums. Does a pastor have to fly in a G5 to talk to you?
It’s getting really confusing when pastors and politicians lead the same lifestyle. Blessings are equated to wealth. I thought our riches lay in heaven? I barely go to church nowadays. I don’t think you’ll hear me better simply because there’re hundreds of us congregated. I have my own special needs and the way I communicate them to you is all tailored to my preferences. So why is it a big deal if I don’t go to church? Is my presence more important than my belief?
I come from the school of thought of doing good and expecting nothing in return. That gives me satisfaction as an individual. You probably knew some day would come when the church would be watered down to fit individual interests. I’m not a father yet but I want my kids to grow in the knowledge of thinking as individuals in a group. I won’t deny them the chance to make their own decisions. I’ll introduce them to religion and they can decide whether religion cuts it for them or it doesn’t.
Everyone talking about selling souls and I’m a little bit confused. If I sell my soul, can you redeem it? I tend to think, selling your soul is a figurative term but people always blow things out of proportion. A soul is your inner self, right? My inner self is the values and principles I have I guess. So doesn’t selling my soul refer to compromising my principles for a certain form of gain? And where do I draw the line? If I’m selling my soul to save a soul, does that make it any more justifiable?
You created us so you know we’re all different in our own ways. I can deny myself some pleasures because that’s who I am as an individual but what happens to my brother who can’t do the same? Why does the world have to judge him using my standards? You had it all right in the beginning in my opinion. When your son died and the religion that is Christianity was born, things took a little bit of a twist. Jesus mingled with the masses but his followers have isolated themselves from society.
Right now I haven’t been to church in a number of years. What action is more important; being seen in church or doing good? Every day it becomes more unclear because to everyone it seems like congregating is the ultimate act of Christianity. I’m not into the name calling just because it sounds good to the ear or people will look at me in a different light. I always try to remain true to myself. I’d rather be an honest sinner than a sinning saint. You get me?
I hope you aren’t tired of reading my letter. I try to maintain my etiquette every time I’m addressing you or anyone I hold in high regard. So every question I’m raising is because I see a reason to believe. But what good is belief if I can’t convince anyone why I believe? People continuously tell me I shouldn’t do it for other people, but if it wasn’t for other people, would I be doing it now? Everything I do is because I want to have an impact, especially if it’s something I believe. So when a group that was formed on the basis of followership claims individuality I get more confused.
I’m not sure if this is what you had envisioned during creation but as my mum always says, “God also changed. He doesn’t wear the robes he used to any more, he now rocks shorts.” Religion is becoming too dynamic for me so when I sit out some of these changes at least you understand I’d rather be principled in my misery that give myself hope on another person’s riches. I hope you won’t be pissed at me and you’ll help me better understand why I am who I am.
Son of a rant