As a human being there are very many things I struggle with. I’m either fighting an attempted coup of my immune system by mosquitoes, trying to point at a direction with my lips or simply trying to hold a fart in during a meeting. It’s not easy but through the gods and my innate abilities, I am able to pull through on a daily basis.
The only struggle I’ve been unable to wrap my well designed fingers around is the concept of real. Real has many definitions depending on your worldview (I remember a thing or two from school) and experiences. Ideally real should be something that has no imitation or simply genuine. I’m not so sure what real is anymore. So I’d encourage you to take offence if you feel targeted by my post.
In school I was taught very many things; some of which I apply in my life. Growing up, I also picked a number of things from my parents, peers and the environment I grew up in. All these factors affected the way I reacted to situations and my ability to either analyze or completely be mauled by circumstances.
So technically, the person I am today isn’t really me. It’s a coagulation of the different people and experiences I’ve encountered in my life. So I’ll take different scenarios and see whether real actually exists or just like many theories is a figment of our imagination.
I’ve heard the phrase “Be real” So many times and I regurgitate my previous night’s foods every time someone opens their mouth to utter those words. What is real? What I came to learn is that if you lie to yourself repeatedly it eventually becomes a reality for you. I’m I real? Physically, yes. Considering I can hit the daylight out of a human being. Metaphorically? Not so much because I do many things out of relativity.
If I were real, I doubt I’d have any friends outside the ones in my head. Real is being honest. If I told a female friend she was fat and she honestly was fat, the reaction wouldn’t be that positive. Even if I offered a solution to what I saw as a problem, will it be right?
So today I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine who happens to be a self-proclaimed feminist (But aren’t they all?). As we were chatting I made a comment about how pathetic I think Bruce or Caitlyn Jenner is and also took a dig at the Kardashian family for not adding any psychological value to television.
Let’s just say I brewed a tsunami in a tea cup. She went on about how men like to objectify women and how I personally (can you believe this lady) have a tendency of graphically describing ladies. Well, I do graphically describe ladies because I can only say so much about your intelligence when half of the time you talked about your relationship and the other half was about an ongoing series. And what else I’m I supposed to describe if not way a lady looks? What did I learn adjectives for?
If and when my friend reads this, she’ll find something wrong with the previous statement. What is real when I can’t speak my mind? Does saying the truth make me a prick or real? What is brave about what Bruce Jenner did? Women all over the world have struggled to raise families alone, get an education and still be the model wives. What is not real about me saying I think Bruce is a waste of funds and airtime?
We have millions of LGBTs across the world. So are we supposed to celebrate each and everyone of these individuals simply because “they came out of the closet”? What about the heterosexuals? Who celebrates them for “being real” about their sexuality? Being real lost its meaning when artists that sang or rapped about being real had plastic surgeries to look real.
I will not celebrate any special group just because the government or the UN feels that I should. I will celebrate individuals because I relate to what they have done and see a cause in their actions that deserves it. I will always say this, you’re a human being before anything else, so if you’re gay, straight, transsexual or do anything that involves sex with a consenting legal human being, don’t push it in my face. I won’t look at you any better.
I’m going to be “real”. The world isn’t absolute; it’s relative through my eyes. So what’s real to you might not be real to me. I respect the fact that everyone leads their lives differently and our opinions will vary. Being real has nothing to do with other people. If you have to point out a fact for it to seem real, then it’s not real. Life is real, but whoever you believe created you doesn’t remind you everyday that it’s real; circumstances do that.
I may come across as rude or arrogant some times. In all honesty, if I strongly believe in what I communicate, I will not apologize. Sometimes, only hard truths will make someone open their eyes. I once told someone I was smarter than them. That was very rude of me even though it was true. I never apologized because I didn’t believe I should dumb down myself just to fit in or seem nice.
So from today, if someone gives you the real talk just smile and nod your head. If you’re a guy you can stick a hand in your pants and nod both heads. The only real thing out there is what you want to be real. And if anyone tries to force their logic or opinion down your throat and you’re not comfortable with deep throating people’s opinions simply say, “It’s a state of mind.” Hey, if you don’t like what I’ve written just sign off with, State of Mind.