Tag Archives: time

Life, all you’ve got

One of the scariest moments has to be feeling your pockets and can’t seem to find your phone. Your heart skipping a beat is an understatement. It will leap over walls and crash into your knees. More often than not you find your phone and enjoy those 15 seconds of your heart calibrating back to normalcy.

But sometimes, that’s not the case. You do your best to locate your phone and can’t seem to find it. It takes a while to accept and move on but you eventually do. Your phone is one of your most prized possessions. Not because of its value or aesthetics but simply because of the secrets and moments you’ve shared.

That’s why it almost always with you. Has a password. A wallpaper that speaks to you. Apps customized to your liking. It’s personal and nobody will ever get what the two of you share. Sometimes your phone is someone. A person you have grown fond of. Someone you love, cherish and want nothing but the best for.

Sadly, life follows the same path. You sometimes do things without thinking you may hurt or lose the person you cherish. That temporary loss can be anything from a break-up with someone you are in a relationship with to doing something strains the relationship you have with a loved one. It’s not permanent. There’s still an opportunity for you to make amends and straighten things out.

At other times, it’s the lost phone and you can’t salvage anything. You can cuss, cry, vent but it’ll never find its way back into your pocket. People are the most valuable assets beside time that we misuse. They say you never miss what you’ve got till it’s gone. That statement couldn’t be any more true.

A cycle technically means going back to where it started. Life starts and ends. You can see death coming from a mile away but nobody will ever prepare you for its impact when it hits. Death is a good and bad thing. It takes away suffering from one person and shifts it to another. The bright side is that you have time to get over loss. There’s no specified duration.

The reality is that grief is a personal experience. No matter how many people used your phone, they may never understand how it feels to lose it. You are never alone but you’re on your own. There’ll be those that will you see you through it all. Those that will walk you through it. But none that will feel the drag of getting through it.

It may seem like the world has suddenly forgotten but don’t take it to heart. The world has its own problems, it can only do so much. Take heart in the fact that tomorrow may be a better day. If not, the next day and the sequence continues. Always remember you hold your destiny in your hands, others can only help you achieve it.

You grieve in your own way and dictate the terms when it comes to getting over it. The most important thing is to appreciate the people around you. In time, all that will be left are memories and if you can’t get the best then you lost value for your time.

For anyone that has experienced loss, time is all you have. Time to accept. Time to heal. Time to pick up the pieces. Time to appreciate. Time to remember. Time to love. Time is all we’ve got.
RIP Herina ‘Nyarkodongo’ Oyugi

When Tides Meet 1of 2

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­“How long is this going to take? I need to be somewhere in the afternoon,” remarked Jaden as the meeting wore on longer than earlier stated. He was meeting a group of investors looking to pump some money into a joint venture but his mind was elsewhere. He was scheduled to meet Kristen at some point in the afternoon

“We’re almost done. I just need to confirm we’re all on the same page before anything kicks off,” replied the chairman as he perused through the last pages of the proposal. Jaden and Kristen had known each other for years. Kristen had been out of the country for a while and even when she came back, would be in a completely different city.

Jaden and Kristen had unnatural chemistry. Despite the distance, they always had a reason to keep in touch. This was the first time in almost a decade they were meeting more than once within two months. The two were set to go for a meet-up at one of Jaden’s friends’ place. This was regular for him but it was something Kristen would not normally do, but chose to. She was a very reserved person.

She was beautiful

Her beauty had levels. You’d see one thing today and the next time you see her; you’d notice something else to intrigue you. She was intelligent and genuine in all her actions. Her smile and composed were very calming to whoever she spoke to. Jaden on the other hand, was nothing close to this. When put on a scale, she would tip the scale in her favour. It was like beauty and the beast, only that beast didn’t own a mansion in this case. But they individually had reasons to keep in contact.

By the time Jaden had confirmed what time he was to meet up with Kristen, there was a football game on. He was an ardent football fan and Kristen, though not a sports fan herself, was supportive of this. All the time he was watching the game, he still wasn’t sure inviting her was the best decision because his friends were nothing remotely close to what she was used to.

They were the complete opposite. Loud, lived life on the edge and always had something silly to say about someone. He wasn’t so worried as to what they’d say but how she would perceive it. Things were going on the football front so he was calming down as time wore on. His friend picked him up in the late evening and they headed to where Kristen was staying.

“Hey, I’m outside,” said Jaden as soon as he got to her place. “Already? Ok, I’ll be out shortly,” she replied. After what seemed like a mini eternity, she emerged. “I hope this is ok. And I won’t be making someone at the venue angry, will I? A lady perhaps?” Jaden as always, was underwhelming in his dressing with jeans, a sweater and sandals. She on the other hand, looked like a gem. A black dress that was slightly above her knee, stockings and to cap it off, a Barcelona jacket, just in case it got cold or the team won.

The drive to their destination wasn’t long and on arrival, Kristen was almost taking for the hills but she barely knew her bearings from there.  They made their way into the house after a quick round of introductions. Kristen and Jaden got comfortable in one part of the living room area and got lost in their own conversation. The two had a lot to say to each other but didn’t know how to express it. They would easily talk about anything, but barely scratched the surface about their feelings for each other.

Jaden was confused

“So, what are you thinking?” Asked Kristen. “About what exactly?” Responded Jaden. “You know what I mean. You’re a smart guy and don’t need me to spell everything out for you.” She said with a smile on her face. They had for long, harboured their feelings from each other because of the fear of the unknown. What of it didn’t work? What if they became too comfortable and started looking outside for happiness? It was a myriad of questions that had no definite answers.

“I don’t know. I…I…I think I just want to be with you and that’s it.” Jaden muttered. This was a topic none of them were prepared to talk about but they decided to. “You don’t have to though. I don’t want you to hate me. Sometimes when you get something you’ve wanted for so long, you lose interest in it. You can be with someone else, no pressure at all.” She amid chatters from Jaden’s friend’s outside the house.

“I’d rather take the risk I guess,” Jaden replied before she pulled him closer and plated a light kiss on his cheek. At this point he wasn’t sure of what to do. He simply held her tight and lingered in the moment thinking of what could be. “Go now. Your friends are probably waiting for you.” She whispered with her bright smile.

He hesitated for a few minutes and went out but was back on the couch with her shortly afterwards. It was as if any minute lost that could be spent with her would never be recovered. Technically that was true because her time in the country was limited and they had to make it count. It was very late into the night and with everybody still up, they cosied up on the couch waiting on one or the other to fall asleep.

“Ey, the room upstairs is ready. You guys can go sleep,” blurted out Viola as she gestured to her room. She was the host and would do the most to make us comfortable. They gathered everything they had, which was Kristen’s purse and phone. They got to the room and lay on the bed facing each other.

“I came here with answers and now I’m even more confused.” Said Kristen. Jaden ran his hands across her face and replied, “Emotion has no logic.”

When they come in between you

“I’m not sure this is working out,” said Turner as Shirley sat on the sofa with her face buried in her hands. He walked out of the door with tears in his eyes knowing it was either him or her. Turner and Shirley had been dating for two years but their relationship had hit a rocky patch and despite everything they tried, things always seemed to get worse.

They met in their final year of college and instantly took to liking each other. Tim was mango; soft on the outside but rough on the inside. He was always calm on normal occasions but he would occasionally let the rough side come out.

Shirley on the other hand was a free spirit. A very decent lady who was easy to get along with. She did her best to make everyone happy and was everyone’s favourite. Their friendship was based on the fact that both of them came from low points in their lives and found comfort in putting a smile on each other’s faces.

Their friendship grew over the course of time and so did their trust in each other. At first, it was nothing more than mutual concern for each other’s wellbeing. Shirley was concerned that Turner had was too aloof with his emotions and barely let anyone get past the basics of knowing him. She was concerned that he was suffering in silence and it was affecting his social life.

Turner on the other hand was interested in Shirley because he felt she was not fulfilling her full potential. She was always doing her best not to offend anyone and in the end she would end up getting hurt. He had seen this before and had been on the opposite end of the spectrum. He knew what it felt like to hurt someone and see their life spiral out of control.

In Shirley, he saw a lady that would take him to heights he had not experienced before. She was calm, focused, beautiful and made him appreciate the little things in life. She had been through a lot in her life but you couldn’t tell from the smile she always showed the world. Turner saw the smile and all the possibilities that were behind that smile.

Shirley liked Turner for who he was. He was a bit younger than her but they found comfort in each other. Over time, they grew closer and all those hugs and laughter turned to a kiss goodbye and sharing of great moments together. Things were taking their course and you could tell these two were meant to be together.

Both valued their privacy and kept their exploits under wraps. They didn’t want anyone to know what they were up to and kept their secret between them. Things were going well for the two and there was nothing but love between them. For a while, nothing could go wrong because it was always what they meant to each other that mattered.

After graduating college, they both found themselves in different industries. Turner found himself in the media industry and Shirley was in the marketing field. These were environments they had not been exposed to in their lives. They were both on field assignment and this meant they had to spend time apart.

The distance didn’t make much difference in the beginning because they would always yearn for each other. Their romance grew as they would be happy to see each other and would tear the place apart. Time was beginning to bring some distance between them though. Turner was always working late and would not find adequate time to spend with Shirley.

Shirley didn’t find any problem in him not being around and always did her best to make herself available. At work, Turner was having a hard time at all the staff parties keeping to himself to avoid putting himself in a precarious situation. He would stay up late, barely drink and head home. He kept this up for a while but he finally caved in.

He would go out with his colleagues on a regular basis and found comfort in his assignment partner, Mish. She was in a relationship with a business man who was barely around. She would confide in Turner and tell him about her love life. Turner would listen to her and they found themselves spending more time together.

Whenever they worked late, they would have a glass or two of scotch before heading home. One night, Mish was very uneasy. She kept on checking her phone and was absent minded. “What’s up today?” asked Turner as he handed her a glass of scotch. “It’s nothing.” She replied still looking at her phone. “Come on. It’s me. You know you can tell me anything.” He said as she put her phone aside.

“Well, it’s my wedding anniversary and my husband hasn’t even sent me a message,” she replied as tears rolled down her cheeks. Turner sat on her desk facing and placed his glass on her desk. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be back,” he said with a smile. He ran out of the office and came back with a gift in his hand.

“Happy anniversary!” She took the unexpected gift and her eyes were filled with tears. “When did you get this?” she asked amid sobs. “I listen,” he replied as he embraced her. They spent the night drinking and headed home at almost dawn.

Turner walked into the house and Shirley was waiting for him. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick? Couldn’t you even have called?” Turner couldn’t explain the fact that he had spent the night out with someone’s wife on her anniversary while his girlfriend spent the night worrying about him.

That was the beginning of their problems. Mish would call Turner anytime she felt lonely and he would heed her call. His actions made him and Shirley drift apart. Suddenly, the fun filled sex escapades were replaced by arguments and mistrust.

Shirley started drifting from Turner and their affection was slowly being washed down the drain. She couldn’t understand how Turner could forget where they came from because of a stranger. Turner on the other hand couldn’t understand how the person he’d opened up to didn’t trust him enough to be on his own.

On the fateful day, Turner was working late and it had skipped his mind that he and Shirley were supposed to have dinner. She called his phone and Mish answered. Shirley felt that Turner had crossed the line and betrayed her. She called a friend over because she needed someone to talk to.

As they sat at the dining table, she started crying. Her friend went over to her and hugged her. As he leaned in looking into her eyes, Turner walked in. He froze and dropped his laptop bag. He picked up his bag, walked past them and went to the bedroom. Shirley’s friend left and she went into the bedroom.

“How could you?” She asked with tears in her eyes. Turner didn’t utter a word as he packed a pair of boxers, socks and a t-shirt in his bag. He was burning with rage but he loved Shirley to much too let it show. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she shouted following him into the living room. “I’m not sure this is working out,” said Turner as Shirley sat on the sofa with her face buried in her hands. He walked out of the door with tears in his eyes knowing it was either him or her.

 

 

Everyone Falls

It started with sight,

Saw her beautiful eyes,

Her lips glistened in the sun,

Her white teeth caught my attention,

Everyone falls at one point.


I said hi,

She was shy,

Not too willing to let it out at first,

She held back,

But everyone falls.


A hi turned to a handshake,

A handshake to a shared laugh,

The shared laugh to texts,

The texts to an occasional hug,

But we all fall at times.


Went from talking a few times a day,

To spending time together,

Everything was fine,

Time was taking its course,

Was this the time to fall?


Shared an interest in each other,

Wanted the best for each other,

But probably weren’t best for each other,

Only time would tell,

We were on our knees.


Cracks started to emerge,

Faults on a smooth surface,

Rough on the outside,

Breaking down inside,

Is this what happens when you fall?


But everyone falls sometime,

It’s not a crime,

We let emotion take its course,

Made the best of what we had,

But you can fall out as easily as you fell in.

 

In pursuit of love

Go after what you love,

It’s all worth it in the end,

Face your fears,

The greatest fear is your fear,

So they said.


I went after what I loved,

Pursued it to the world ends,

Sacrificed my life,

Gave it to my love,

Pursue your love they said.


Almost caught up,

But she wasn’t in the mood,

I had to procrastinate my love,

Shelve it for another day,

All in pursuit of love.


I finally caught up,

She in the right frame of mind,

Ready to kick things off,

Make us a thing,

Pronounce our love to the world.


I loved her,

So I let her go,

Because love isn’t a science,

There’s no perfect time,

Love waits for no man.

 

When love hurts

Sometimes I’m indecisive,

I like you then forget you,

It’s never about me,

Sometimes it’s you,

We still have time.


You ignite a flame inside me,

At times it’s warm,

At other times it burns me,

I got used to it,

I have nothing but time.


Will you ever leave me?

Is this love or something like it?

Your confidence turned to arrogance,

I can’t tell if you don’t know or are ignorant,

It’s time we sat down.


You talk about love,

Like it a commodity at the store,

Put in your shopping cart,

And return it if you can’t afford it,

Did you forget about our time together?


Is the art bigger than the artist?

What if the trade stifles the trader?

What happens when love kills the lover?

Takes the very essence of its existence,

And time is all you have.


They said I’d be free in love,

But I lost more than I gained,

But love is about sacrifices, right?

You give and expect nothing in return,

But what about my time?