I make a point to find something I want to achieve every year. Unfortunately, my year starts in five months so until then, I will procrastinate last year’s goal to then. However, 2017 was a very significant year for me and I had to jot something down to appreciate the good, bad and ugly.
It was a year that taught me hope isn’t just a beautiful girl sleeping with the choir master after practice. It’s the difference between reaching and falling short. I barely talk about my emotions but one lady I’ve been very close with was my grandma. Losing her was probably the lowest point for me.
One thing I learned from her is hope. Never lose that little glimmer that you have in life. Things may be going south faster than draws on a pressed crotch but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. She always had something smart to say even at 100. Just like any soap opera, I’d have liked to say a few words to her before she passed on but I didn’t get the chance.
Did she know how much I loved her? Would it have made any difference if I was at her side when she took her last breath? I’ll never know but I hope I will never have to ask myself these questions again. I choose to speak my mind and say how I feel. Sometimes we don’t get reciprocated emotions but it kills you more to keep your feelings bottled up.
I know this first hand. I don’t regret a day in my life when I say something I mean. It hasn’t always gone well for me, but it’s lifted a burden off my back. Take risks. Live like today was your birthday and tomorrow is a holiday. Risk isn’t necessarily careless. It’s taking that leap of faith to find the little happiness you can achieve when you’re alive.
Fall in love. Walk out of toxic relationships. Make friends. Lose some. It’s all a part of growing up. Very often you’re caught up in historical cycles that have no impact on your present life. Every once in a while, be your greatest critic but give yourself a break as well. Don’t just make mistakes. Do them well. In everything you do, do the utmost best. There’s no rehearsal. Even if you believe in the afterlife, you won’t live it on earth.
Find a vent. Let things out. Bottled emotions are noxious. Don’t deny yourself happiness because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Your mind is a strong organ. Talk, sing, write, draw, take a walk. Just do something other than suffering in silence. Talk to your friends. Find out how they are doing every once in a while. It’ll take a minute but it can save a life. Everyone suffers. You may know how to deal with your demons but the next person doesn’t.
I never make outright resolutions because I learn and adopt as I live. I have goals just like you do but I believe living is also important. Discover. Travel. Open your horizons and have a holistic approach to life. The world has different kinds of people and each one brings something unique to the table. You don’t have to fit in. Be yourself but also be mindful of other people.
At times, take a break and hang out with yourself. You can live and be the life of the party but you’re not alive. Take a breather and evaluate yourself. Appreciate yourself a bit. Reward yourself and take your path. There’s no right path. You just need a reason to believe in the path you choose to follow.
Be nice. You don’t need to change the world to make a difference. Make a difference to one person. That can be your world. And if you can be the world to one person, take it with both hands. Make your year positive. Don’t focus too much on the negative and forget the only place you don’t want to test positive is in a lab.
At times you’ll feel like giving back the energy you get. And you’re warranted to feel that way on any given day. But you’ll need to have more negative energy to match negative vibes. The better option is to bounce off bad vibes with good vibes. It’s much more relaxing to spread joy and happiness. That is what your year should be like. Be happy and spread the happiness. The world needs it.
A dream is a defined as a series of thoughts, images and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep. But what happens when you experience your dream? It gives you a sense of satisfaction in most cases not achievable. You dwell in your own world knowing you’re pulling the strings and calling the shots. You can cut when you please and roll one scene multiple times.
One of the scariest moments has to be feeling your pockets and can’t seem to find your phone. Your heart skipping a beat is an understatement. It will leap over walls and crash into your knees. More often than not you find your phone and enjoy those 15 seconds of your heart calibrating back to normalcy.
They say the best things in life are free, but so are the worst. I’ve been offline for a while and I’ve seen darker days but not being able to write because I wasn’t motivated was one of the hardest things for me. I love writing and it may not be the best or interesting but it’s one of the ways I self-regulate.
In this period I’ve gone through changes and not just physically. The biggest adjustment other than starting a new job (Yeah, I move around) is that I’m pregnant. I know, it was a roller coaster of emotions for me when I found out as well, but just like Mary and other virgins before us, I accept this great responsibility. Well, I’m not like pregnant pregnant, my stomach has just outgrown my body. I look like a broken condom, free on the upper part, tight on the lower end.
Starting a new job just like any other new experience had its ups and downs. When I joined the organization (It’s a professional place), I had this serious feel around me. I had carried my Samuel L. Jackson to this place. I only smiled when hot tea was served and burned someone’s tongue or got outside the gate. But all that has changed now and I’ve met some really nice fellows, some nicer than others of course. And I’m on a diet as well.
In this period I’ve also realized fear can be a good thing or a bad thing. In my case, it’s an almost bad thing. One of the hardest things in life is being unable to achieve anything because of the fear of what if? The whole world can believe in you but if you don’t, it doesn’t count for anything. It simply means you lost a fight you were refereeing.
I can comfortably write about this because on more than one occasion, I’ve missed out on something big because of fear. Not that I was afraid of my capabilities. The fear stemmed from the fear of rejection. Fear of failure. How do I get back from failing? Do I just forget that someone said no when in all honesty I was the best?
The answer is yes! You get back up and move on. You can’t be afraid to achieve because of an obstacle. If Eve didn’t put the fear of the unknown to the side and take a bite of that apple, you wouldn’t have all these great experiences. In an ideal world where Eve said no, like all girls should to free drinks from strangers at the club, we would all be happy an overpopulated the earth.
But whether you believe in religion or not, is not the discussion here. It is about living in the moment and appreciating every experience you have. The bad ones are not supposed to be looked at as lessons only. You’re free to sulk and be down because something went south. Emotion has no logical explanation and you don’t need to justify it to anyone.
Enjoy the great moments. Don’t dwell to long on either of these situations though and forget to live. Your primary goal in life is to live. How you live it is up to you. Find something that you love to do, even if it’s a person and do that. Have you ever heard of the phrase life is too short? Well, it is very short. One minute you’re being given boobs for free, the next you need to convince someone why you’re the right person to show it to.
And that is life. An opportunity lost is not the end of things. I’d like to use people like Lincoln as examples but you don’t want to exercise power over people in the free world do you? You probably just want to sit back in some exotic location, spend time travelling, learning new things and creating memories. And that’s what you should do. We live too cautiously only to die. And for what? To enjoy retirement? I am guilty of working and forgetting the little pleasures in life. I still run out of money at the end or close to the end of the month and I have no stories to tell. That’s not how I should live.
I don’t want to regret. Think of what could’ve been. I want to ask a girl out on a date. Something out of the normal. Drink ourselves silly and uber home because I’m responsible and still don’t own a car. Life is an adventure and you are the Zach Galifianakis of it. Nobody has rehearsed for anything life has up it’s dirty, rugged sleeves. Feel free to try out new things and if they don’t work out, try something else.
Live without hating and spewing negative energy. You are not a dragon or a cat. Live and love. And it’s okay not to love as well, but hating people takes too much energy away from you. It’s however, allowed to hate the fact that Liverpool fans laugh at Arsenal, yet they don’t know how it feels like to see a Merseyside club lift the Premier League trophy. And kindly note, the current Premier League system started in 1992.
So as you welcome a new month and plan what you’re going to do next year at the same time, do something today as well. It won’t hurt. And get yourself something to drink.
I’m sure in the short or semi-long life you’ve lived, a few codes of conduct have been thrown around. Perhaps even more important that the constitution might be Bro Code. This is an elaborate manual of how bros shall conduct themselves around each other. In case you have no idea, I outlined some here, you can always follow up.
I however, realized not everyone is a bro. So what happens when a bro who is not really a bro claims you have gone against the code? Do you suffer the consequences or do you get a pass? These are grey areas that need to be addressed and who better to set standards for communication that a keeper of codes?
A female can be a bro, after vetting
It has come to our attention that some bros from the fairer sex have been denied Bro status despite meeting all the set standards. Let’s make this clear, a bro is someone who comes through in tough times and what’s a harder time than a dry spell?
If a sister can deliver and lob you an Ozil-like pass in these treacherous times, she has more than qualified to be a bro. Some alleged bros feel their hunger pangs are supernatural and will never extend a favour even when in possession of a full platter.
A bro shall be of any sex as long as they come through.
A bro shall not depend on females for money
Let’s put it this way, if you were dead broke and there was nothing left in your chamber of coins, you shall die as a man. It is stated in the broble that a lady shall not give you money and forget. She will always remind you even when it has nothing to do with the money. Some alleged bros have also made it a habit to live off ladies, you are no longer bros.
The only exception when getting cash requisitions from the opposite sex is given to the following groups; your mother, sister and grandmother. Even if the lady is a bro, don’t do it. You never know when she might decide to turn back.
Bros still do not carry handbags
The bro code does not allow you to carry a handbag, even if it belongs to your mother. Handbags are made for ladies and it should remain as that. Even as Valentine’s Day approaches and you want to impress that lady that’s denied you access to her panties, this is not allowed. This is why equity is more important that equality.
There are always scenarios where you may have to carry this accessory. In the event that your mother or sister wants to give you money and the bag is a significant distance away, you can deliver it. If you’re with your girl in a dangerous area. You however, have to carry it in a plastic bag. In the event your significant other blacks out and in this case you need to admit her to a rehab centre.
Bros shall not lie about a conquest to intimidate bros
A new trend that has emerged is of bros earning script writing and editing skills without attending any professional institution. Some bros have made it a habit to always exaggerate conquests or imagine them for the less fortunate.
A bro that lies about a conquest shall not only be disbanded for a given period (depending on the severity). This act may push weaker or less lucky bros to depression and it would not be for a valid cause as stated in the broble.
A bro shall always pay their debt
Bros who do not pay debts may have to go back to the friend zone. A crop of bros has risen from the tribe of Judas that do not like paying debts. A bro is obligated to help a bro in the event of an emergency but only if the needy bro has a good track record of filing returns.
A bro that has a poor credit score shall always be met with the dreadful, “I’m not in a good place right now.” Make it your goal as a bro to always keep your word and other bros shall have no issue handing over their hard earned money.
In life every experience is a lesson and I’m a good student, you can ask anyone that shared a class with me in University. I’m those students that have five different types of pens and divide my notes according to the lecturer and their mood. My notes got people A’s. Of course they can’t step up and say, “You my G are the real MVP.” They’d rather take that shine, but I’m good, I’m beaming.
So, in the past month or two I’ve been really quiet and haven’t really posted anything. I’d blame writer’s block but honestly, I lacked inspiration. I didn’t have anything that made me want to sit down in my cotton-white white boxers, with a glass of red wine and just jot down my thoughts. Every time I got myself in a position to write, I would jot down two lines and that was it.
My front desk mate at work kept on pressuring me to write and even went to the extent of calling me to write when I was on holiday. She’s got a lot of nerve but she also triggered a lot of thought in me. I’ve seen a lot happen over the days. Just today in the morning, a friend lost his daughter. You try your best to find something appropriate to say but what can you say?
“I’m sorry, she’s in a better place? That was God’s plan?” I haven’t talked to him and doubt I’ll be saying anything any time soon but I feel his pain. And that is partly what made me want to write. I remember this one post I wrote in 2013 and I was at a very low point in my life. I wrote it as a diary, not necessarily target to lift anyone or anything along those lines.
One lady called me after that and we talked at length about what I was experiencing. She was going through a hard time and my post spoke directly to her. I have the ‘Scopare il mondo. Salvare la tua anima’ mentality. However, when you can help one person have a good day, isn’t that good thing? So I decided I’ll write today. I don’t know what my subject is but I’m just going with the flow, the words will come as I go on.
I’ve been brought up around a close knit family so I value friendship, loyalty and respect. In the recent past I’ve been in situations where I’ve done things that I had no responsibility doing but did them anyway. What I’ve come to understand is that we’re not all the same. Some people will show you gratitude for what you offer while others will not.
But does that mean I should change and stop helping people because a few people couldn’t show gratitude? I would but I wouldn’t live in comfort knowing I could’ve done something but chose to do nothing. Over time you may realize, it’s the small things that matter. You can have money but you will barely ever have the most money.
Happiness is innate. You derive your joy from within and that’s what most of us have failed to grasp. We rely on other people to give you joy. When was the last time you enjoyed your own company? Just sat by yourself and did something you love for your own satisfaction? If I said one more time that I’m not in a relationship, you’d think I’m advertising my singlehood. Well, I am but that’s beside the point.
I see people suffer and sacrifice more than they need to for relationships to work. The word doesn’t even have real in it so most people do it just for the cameras and likes. Companionship needs more than love and posting your significant other as an MCM or WCW. It needs you to know there’s an equal distribution good as bad with anyone.
I don’t picture perfection in any situation but I have visions of ideal situations. A situation where you treat other people with the respect they deserve and not manipulate or take advantage of them. It may not work in a capitalistic world where everyone is interested in their own wellbeing even if it comes at the expense of other people.
What’s really sad is that most people would rather play the victim nowadays. You’d rather shift blame to someone else to avoid taking responsibility. It’s always some else’s fault which begs the question, what is your responsibility?
The sooner you learn you are not just on the world but of the world the better. Play your part in building a better society and spreading a smile to different faces across the globe. You just like the next person are good at something. It may not be raking in any money bit it can make a difference.
Try cutting your pinky off and see how efficient your hand will be. I bet you’re not so willing to take the risk but you know you’ll lose almost half of your hand’s functionality. So what makes you think that even without being the most outspoken figure, you can’t make a difference?
Don’t give anyone the power to determine your happiness. People will disappoint you and make excuses for their own failures. But there are people who will also uplift you and show you the good side of humanity we barely get to see.
It’s a matter of perspective and you choose what you want to see. If something bad happens, take your time, deal with it in your own way and find a way to get past it. Time is the only true healer. I’ve ranted a lot but I think I needed to just note down what was in my head and put it out there.
I also don’t think Hillary lost because she’s a woman like everyone is trying to portray it. Trump may not have been your favourite but he was elected in a legally due process and the least you can do is give him time to succeed or fail. The power lies in your hands, you just need to show how badly you want it.
Freedom works best for the free,
And the free and not necessarily free,
We are bound by promises,
Shackled by lies and deceit,
But such is life.
At times freedom is painful,
You have to let go,
Give another life,
At your own expense,
But such is life.
Do not cry for me,
For I will not do the same,
Trust is not always rewarded with loyalty,
Sometimes, it begets betrayal,
But such is life.
Live well and do good,
Expect nothing in return,
Be welcoming but be cautious,
Those you sleep with can stab you,
Because such is life.
Today is just one of those days I had to sit myself down and write myself a letter. I’m I the only person who has intra conversations? Ask yourself questions and beat yourself up because you know you could have done better? Well, I’m at that point in my life and I have nobody to talk to so I share with myself. Sounds crazy, right? I guess every market needs its mad man for entertainment.
I’m getting my life on track and I really can’t say I’ve fallen off because I had no goal to start with. My benchmark is my previous achievements. Does that limit my ambition or does it make me realistic? I’m at the age where my friends are fathering kids, giving birth or posting photos on holidays. I can’t say it doesn’t get to me at times. I usually ask myself, “What I’m I doing wrong?”
Reality always seems to come to my rescue and smack me back to my senses. We all say we don’t do anything to please anyone so why would other people’s lifestyles bother me? Why I’m not in a relationship or haven’t been in one for years? To be honest, I don’t know. To others, there’s something wrong with me. I was either hurt or hate commitment, but it’s neither. I’m alone just because I like it.
What’s self-assessment? Is it not about re-evaluating your past self in comparison to your new self? Well, I like my old self. I like the me that didn’t care about who had the shiniest watch or who got paid more than who. Yeah, you’re probably wondering what I’m I going on about? I’m going on about life. What value do you attach to life?
These aren’t formative years for me. I don’t even believe in formative years as a human being. Why do I need to be tied down to a timeline I was consulted in scheduling? Shouldn’t I have exclusive authority to decide when my formative years should be? I shouldn’t be tied down to people’s expectations of what I should be doing. What do you mean what I’m I doing with my life? Isn’t living and appreciating every other day doing something with my life?
The problem with the world is that people want to compare people who were exposed to different environments. I cannot be my father. As much as there is transfer of genes, it’s not CTRL+C, CTRL+V. I cannot be what my parents are. I also cannot be that kid you look up to as a teacher. Look at me as a unique person and you’ll be on a long journey to understand that I cannot and will not be whoever you want me to be.
The internet has brought about standard regulators from all corners. You’re not wife material if you do this. You are a fuckboy because of this and that. What makes your wife material my wife material? Maybe I like them tough like khaki or soft like satin. You see, the thing about these standards is that they come from a point of want rather than experience. When you say I’m a fuckboy because I can’t do certain things I’m not accustomed to, then what makes you any different from me? Other than gender of course.
When choosing a girlfriend or wife (some people marry before dating) you have your own expectations. Some look at physical beauty, some look at intelligence, others personality (What you call inner beauty) and others just go for the person they find first. Someone worships that wife material you say is trash. One man’s whore is another man’s saint (Ask that prophet in the bible who had to marry a harlot).
The world will always try and determine how you should live your life. You always need to remember that you’re a unique individual and you should always communicate that. It’s hard not to want to impress someone and as much as we deny it, we all try to impress someone. It’s not wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The only problem is losing your principles and dignity trying to impress someone.
Live your life like you are royalty. If you’re a Christian, the bible tells you you’ve been created in the image and likeness of God so technically; you are a god in your own right and deserve to treat yourself as such. It’s the case of the argument that most billionaires don’t have university or college education. The sad bit is that the people that run their companies are all college or university educated. So you can’t rely on one person’s life story to base yours.
Create your own path and start your own story. Pioneers were never pioneers when they started off. Most of them were either laughed at or looked at as dimwits for taking their own path. You have to be willing to take the risk to be able to enjoy what those you aspire to be live. Like Kanye; he always does the wrong things in our eyes but doesn’t give one hoot. Except marrying Kim, that will bit bite him forever or be a finger in ll the wrong places. Personally, I don’t have a role model or a mentor. I look at everyone exclusively and through their lives I’m able to pick what I can do better and what to leave out.
Don’t be afraid of being weird. You should be more afraid of being normal because that means you’re conforming and losing the true essence of who you are. Nobody will ever appeal to everyone. Obama had black people opposing his presidency in 2008. Hitler had people who loved him for who he was, so your level of weird will always have people who’ll hate it and people who’ll ride with you. You just need to do what makes you comfortable (And no, I’m not saying Hitler was right for what he did. I barely know the guy). This doesn’t mean you should break the law or anything of the sort, unless it’s taking soup with a fork; that is a law you can break any time. If you take soup with a fork, you are past any law. You are the law.
Everyone has their outlook of life and it certainly doesn’t apply to everyone but there are a few things you can pick from everyone’s mantra that will help you make life more enjoyable. The true meaning of life is in taking everyday as it comes and always striving to be the best you can be. I don’t know where I got all this all this wisdom but I trust myself so I suggest you also do the same. Otherwise, has any of you seen a lost cat somewhere? The type of girl I’m looking for likes heroes and you can’t beat rescuing a homeless cat.