I can count the number of times I have had a decent dining experience. I’m very cultured just to be clear. The invites I get to join the who and who of Nairobi are too many. Usually I don’t know these people because I am the plus one so that’s why I referred to them as who and who. But there’s always that one dinner you go to and it’s not amped but has this boujee ambience that gives you an accent.
I’ll start from the top. In my line of work, we get invited to different social and corporate events. I’m a sucker for the former because I like having a good time and smiling at random people. It just happened that a corporate event had popped up and the person scheduled to go had a minor racing accident. She was confined to the bathroom.
I barely dress up but on this day I had on my favourite everything. From hair to socks. My boss looked around and pointed at me, “Ed, you’re going for the event. We’re leaving in ten minutes!” My heart was all over the place. There was a major tremor recorded on the seismic scale that day. I hadn’t practised on my English accent and that was everything I needed to make things smooth.
But who I’m I? The girls them sugar. I took a sip of cold soup and washed it down with hot water. My boss was a very fancy lady that had probably never been embarrassed in her life. That’s until of course she asked me to accompany her to a corporate dinner. We got there at around 6pm. The cars in the parking lot didn’t make things any easier. I may have let out one or two farts but they weren’t anything major.
We were ushered in by these beautiful ladies who I could have sworn I had interacted with at another social gathering. The music was so mellow that by the time we made it into the dining area, I already had my accent. We exchanged a few pleasantries with some of the dignitaries present and went on to sit.
Now this is where things got a little bit weird. On a regular day, a beer would have done it for me. If not, a gin and tonic on the rocks with a slice of lemon. And when I feel all sophisticated, a bottle of whisky and smoked fish takes the day. The waiter came to take our orders and I was feeling all exotic and thought of ordering a lobster thermidore, but opted for the spiced orange roast chicken. I know, it tastes as good as it sounds. When it got to the drinks, I didn’t know jack about wine. My prior interaction had come in the form of communion, Carlo Rossi and Overmeer.
I looked through the wine list and saw something familiar, baume. It reminded me of bum and I have a soft spot for this specific anatomy. Domaine de la Baume turned out to be the best thing I had ever had. The pairing with the chicken was heavenly. I could hear my ancestors slow clapping as I sliced through that bird with silver and didn’t mess my second hand shirt. I could see my boss was proud of me just by the way she asked about the palate of the wine.
“It’s voluptuous and slightly honeyed.” I don’t know where I had read that but let’s just say I attended more corporate events in the future. My boss had the Fish Hoek Merlot which I tried some time later and I fell in love with it. And you should too. Oh! And you can get a discount if you refer your friend at Oaks and Corks, just get it from here.