Two sides of a coin

When we talk of double standards, people usually have subjective opinions. In my objective subjectivity, I tried to see who really gets the short end of the stick. Just to make things clear, as long as you have a hold of the stick, you can choose whether to make it short or long. All this mambo jambo of weaker sex and fairer sex is just becoming too much. When we have male looking ladies and teenage girl looking men, we have no business labeling any sex as fairer or weaker.

Well, back to what made me write this post. I was scrolling through the internet looking at intelligent pictures when my eyes caught this posterior. I didn’t want to get a closer look because that would require me to research on who it belonged to and if it was her best shot. Just as I was about to click on it, I saw a comment that made me choke on my mint flavoured saliva (this is not a sponsored post). It read, and I quote, “This one has 103,000 likes. She must be intelligent.” At first I thought, this must be some scholar who doesn’t like ladies posting these bottom pics on the internet. Also, I could smell the sarcasm all the way from her toes.

So, I decided to look into the person who posted it. It indeed was a young scholar. The only bit that shocked me was upon browsing through her timeline, I saw a photo of a beautiful lady. I thought wow! Let me see how many likes this one has. Big mistake. The photo loaded and boom! I’m hit by the picture of a penis. And not a small one that I’d easily ignore and laugh off. No. This was one of those genetically modified ones. It was probably fed on some banned fertilizer and stuff. This got me thinking. What made her look down on the posterior photo and find humour in duping innocent minds into near cardiac arrest?

Well, double standards is the answer. She probably thought that lady with an ass didn’t deserve as many likes. I like clearing things up so before I go on, let’s get it clear that this is my opinion. You can have yours as well. There’s a reason I would follow a model that poses nude on instagram and not follow some renowned scholar’s blog. That reason is the same reason; there are different careers on earth. We have varying preferences which depend on our environment and mood. The people who know me know I am capable of having an intelligent conversation just as much as I can engage in utter nonsense. To some, this may seem stupid but again, it’s a personal preference and I won’t judge you for judging me because I do it.

If I was to throw around a body count of 40, I’d be a legend. If my sister did the same, she’d be a slut. I know, life is unfair but it goes both ways. If I was to wink at a girl and LL Cool J my lips at a girl, I’d be labeled a pervert. If a girl did that to me, it’d be sexy. I try never to get involved in this sex debates. Why? Everyone has a different opinion as to what the right way to relate with each other is. A feminist is seen as a champion for women’s rights. A chauvinist; well, let’s just say you don’t want to be called a chauvinist.

I’m sorry I have to use this example Kish (You forgive me, yes?). Kish once told me I verbally harassed some ladies when we were leaving a club. I understood where she was coming from but in my head, there was no way I was going to go joking around with men. With this current crop of pink trouser wearing men, I wouldn’t know how far they may want to take it. So Kish asked me, what if it was your sister who was being harassed. Well, two things. One, if I’m there, I stand up for her and deal with it. Two, if I’m not there then she will have to remember these words, “I’m not always going to be there. And at the end of the day, it’s not me they talking to.” It sounds rude but it’ll get them by.

I think it all boils down to our orientation as kids. I find your mama jokes and humour based on actual things like weight and physical appearances funny. Most people don’t. If I say a girl looks like a cross-breed of Lil Wayne and Samuel L Jackson, people will say I’m rude. If I made the same joke about a guy, people would probably laugh it off and he’ll be Lil Jackson from then. After my conversation with Kish, I gave this sex thing some thought. In my opinion, no sex gets preferential treatment. When we look at how the universe runs, it all balances out.

Men in most parts of Africa will inherit their parents land. The wife that son marries, will own the same land this man inherits. A man may get paid more for the same job as a woman but a man will get fired for a lesser reason than a woman. The time a man gets for the same crime as a woman isn’t the same. So when we are busy clamouring for more rights, we should also remember there are two sides to a coin. The coin has no value without the tail. So when you empower one group and completely sideline the other, we create an imbalance.

Right now, if you have young kids or are yet to have kids, you can teach your kids to grow the way you envision the world. If you want a world where your kids get equity then it starts with you. If you are the dad that always has to chew on the gizzard, you have no business asking your son not to do the same. If you are a dad that spends more time herding your daughters and letting your son run riot, don’t castigate him for turning into something you didn’t want. Everything has a beginning and the standards we set for our kids go a long way in influencing them. Be the person you see in your kids.

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