I’ve never been the following the trend craze kind of guy but this year I have to do something I hoped I’d never have to do. Every January I search videos of things that should be left behind. Usually, the aim of this is to see funny things. I would love to follow the vlog trend as well but I doubt Vin Diesel would want to lose his spot in Hollywood. And why is it vlog and writing isn’t wlog? Beats me.
Back to what my post was all about. Earlier today, I accidentally bumped into a girl I knew from back in the day (Don’t ask me which day). She was a beautiful girl with a nice bum and rack. I’m sure one or two people stopped at accidentally. Well, it was accidental because I didn’t know it was her until she said hi. Last I remember, she was dark.
Today, she was probably ten shades lighter. And if it wasn’t for my photochromatic lenses, the shades would extrapolate all the way to 50. I remember telling my boys at one time that she was trying to see the light but he would have none of it because he had probably invested in some of those chemicals. So this year, I’ve decided to list things I feel should be left in 2014.
Skin lightening/ Bleaching/ Removing of Tint/ Seeing the Light
If you were born dark, that’s how you’re supposed to be. There’s no reason to go all samurai on us and make one complexion disappear. There’s nothing hot about being light. If you’re beautiful, it’ll run across the skin spectrum. If you’re ugly, turning your skin to look like an infant rat only aggravates the situation.
My advice to anyone that wants to change their skin tone? Don’t. It’s as simple as that. If you’re a guy and your complexion scares away the ladies, get money. People never run away from money. If you’re a girl and you look like simba’s nanny, make sure you have a good profession and read as many tutorials on pleasuring a man as much as you can. Just don’t change your skin tone.
Texting in short hand
Every time you type HBD instead of happy birthday a kitten commits suicide by choking on its own tail. You can’t claim to be an adult and you type a text message in short hand. I’m not in a gang so there’s no way I’m deciphering what you intend to communicate.
If you have to tell me something, be clear. Have you ever heard of the expression I’m only responsible for what I say and not what you hear? Well, in this case I’m only responsible enough to reply to a language I understand, not Creole or any other jumbled language.
Misusing the word Busy
I’m sure in this case you’re an offender, a victim or both. If you don’t want to respond to a text, kindly ignore it or at least claim you didn’t see it. Telling someone you were busy for 24 hours or two days is not only an insult but worse that spitting on the food of a hungry man. Unless you’re a surgeon who was performing brain surgery to remove a tumour and found a brain in the tumour. That would require two days of surgery, but if you’re anything else, you can spare a minute to tell someone to communicate later. You people are the reason Obama doesn’t wear J’s.
Going back to your ex
This is a habit that unfortunately is on the rise. If you parted ways and both of you moved on, please, keep on moving. Have you ever had a meal, regurgitated it, put it back on your plate and ate it again? Well, that’s what you do when you go back to someone you left a year ago for not loving you or not being mature enough.
The worst thing about this is that technology makes it worse. You see, when you’re busy liking 2010 posts from your exes wall, it’s not only them who can see it. We can also see that you liked a post from March 2010. How low can you go? That’s like eating your boogers.
If you’ve been dumped or dumped someone, move on. There’s nothing more you can get from someone you hurt or someone that hurt you. If you find yourself always fretting over an ex then you’re the one that deserves to be exed.
Blanket Hate and Cyber Bullying
It’s the 21st century; you can’t hate people in groups unless you have something against every other individual in the group. I’m a firm believer in separation of issues. So if you have a problem with me, it’s not my race, ethnicity or clique that you have a problem with. Hating people for no apparent reason just goes to show how much self-hate you have.
Cyber bullying should stop this year. Anybody can go behind a keyboard and threaten the hell out of you. But how many of you cyber bullies can actually do that in person. From what I know, most of these guys are either lacking attention from their parents or have very low self-esteem. The only way they can feel better is by putting other people down on the internet.
This year, try logging off your computer and walk to the person you bully online. If you feel that you really have a problem with them, punch them and let it go. If you do it from behind a keyboard, you’re no different than a person who has cyber sex and still claims to have an active sex life.
I think that’s all I have to say for now considering I haven’t had the chance to interact with different people yet. In a few weeks I’ll probably come across people who will irritate the hell out of me and I’ll do what I usually do. Tell you or just write about it and move on with my life.