Me

They say it’s not a gaffe,

Unless you reprise it,

But I repeat it,

And still call it a mistake,

Because it’s part of me,

I wake up every day,

Know I messed up,

Know I could have done better,

But still go on,

They label me,

Call me a recluse,

An elitist,

A hater,

But that’s just the tip,

I’m also a prick,

I say hurtful things,

And I’m not remorseful,

You could call that honesty,

I tell it as it is,

You either love me or hate me,

No fence in my life,

Bu in my defense,

I’m just being me.

I’d apologize,

But would she accept?

I’d try to make it up,

But would it make a difference?

Because if it doesn’t,

I’d rather she hate me,

Than live on false hope,

That one day,

It may be her,

Not the next,

With me,

And it hurts at times,

When you know it could’ve been,

But life won’t have any of that,

I’d rather you be alone,

Keep the pain inside,

Take each day like a sub,

On the sidelines,

And wait for your time,

It consumes me,

One day after another,

Snipping away bits,

But I’m pushing through.

I’d tell each of them,

To calm their feelings,

But things are ok as they are,

I’m just making it clear,

Usually it’s me,

Sometimes,

It’s you,

But whatever the case,

I give my all for the squat stint,

Make you see life from my shade,

See that’s it’s not always bright,

And I can’t take you along,

If I don’t know where I’m going,

So whatever I do,

I do it for me,

With you in mind,

You may hate that,

Find it cute,

Or understand it’s for you,

All I can do,

Is accept the situation,

And hope it turns out better,

Not everything is about me.

One day I’ll come through,

I’ll pull my guard down,

Walk into the unknown,

With you on one hand,

Have a different experience,

Know how it feels,

To be picked from the ground,

To know the feeling,

Of having an ambidextrous outlook,

Not only see the tunnel,

But know there’s a way out,

It’s not that I hate love,

I just need to learn how to,

Get used to two,

Because that means there’s you too,

Know there’s no quick fix,

To any situation,

Involving emotions,

I leave not because I love journeys,

I do it for the love of life,

I just need to make you a part of that life,

Give us a chance,

Know there’s no us without me.

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