So often I beat up myself over things that have little consequences or rather have none whatsoever. I guess every other person goes through the same kind of things but just like me have their own ways of dealing with it. Some will cry, others will openly express their feelings and my kind will look into the mirror and say, “So what? I still look great!” How is it that I can look past the events in my life and others cannot? Is it that I am less confident or the fact that I am more forgiving? I ask myself so many questions every time I am conscious but fortunately or unfortunately I rarely get adequate answers.
What would be the essence of me knowing why I can have a pizza and another human being probably living next to me cannot access three meals a day? Would I be in a better place to help them out? And what of the kid who constantly goes to the library and still gets below average grades? Will my A make it any better? What of the girl who thinks I should shelve my ambitions for her? Will an unfulfilled me make her any happier? I’m sure some if not most of you may have more pressing questions than I do but of what essence are the answers you are seeking?
People talk of love as they do of lust. The two words are not similar in any way. Love is not just a word, it’s a lifestyle that you have to adopt. And as odd as it may seem, I believe one cannot love two entities in the same measure. When I say I love Arsenal, I mean exactly that. I cannot and will not shift my love to Bayern München no matter how many years Arsenal fails to triumph. When God said he loved human beings, he meant it. The punishments came in tenfold but the love never faded at any particular time. So my biggest question is what is love? And if I know what love is, will it change my perspective of life?
If I am supposed to love my neighbour as I love myself and do not love myself, does that mean I should hate my neighbour? I don’t know, you tell me. Is it love when an individual in the west portrays starving African kids in order to get money? Is it love when people fork out hundreds of thousands of dollars for a meal just to sit next to Jay z in the name of charity? What is love when a government can invest in school buildings but not the individuals attending these schools? What is the importance of telling a girl I love her if I have no intention of spending my whole life with her? You are in a relationship, do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with your partner?
How much do you sacrifice for other individuals? And do you expect anything in return for your sacrifice? I believe the idea of sacrifices came about as a result of people expecting something back. People either gave sacrifices to be forgiven or for blessing. I would want to mix issues and start going on about religion but Kanye West is not my model so I’ll not interrupt myself. And since I’m on sacrifice, does a lie count as a sacrifice? I mean, if I lie for another person I put my reputation on the line for the sake of another individual. And that is assuming I do not expect them to lie back as a payment. I have therefore, in essence, sacrificed my dignity and reputation for someone.
Every time you lose a loved one you always ask yourself, why him? Why Alicia? Is it that you feel someone else deserved to die in their place? You perhaps? I’ll leave you to that. I am not justifying anything or trying to push any agenda. I’m just putting my thoughts out there. We all have our demons to deal with and mine is my mind. Find yours and you’ll do more than just know yourself, you will be a master of yourself.