I’ve reached another milestone in my life and as usual, I’m going to put something up. This time I got a bit conventional or as others would call it, lazy and didn’t do much writing. I simply went to my Facebook posts and just dug out stuff I wrote as a teenager.
I was honestly surprised at the stuff I wrote and I thought it would be great if I just shared it and gave you a glimpse of my journey. Don’t concentrate so much on the content but rather the context in which they were written. Again, thank you for helping me grow along this journey. I always write this as me for you.
“I pray for those who love me as much as for those that hate me. For those who love me because they are in the best position to harm me. For those who hate me because they make me a better man.”
“Growing up you wonder why some girls like you and some seem to hate you with a passion. Why some guys will always fight you while others fight beside you. There is only one that I have learnt to fully trust. Me. I feel at ease to blame myself and take responsibility for my deeds. There are two sides to any person, the good and the bad. Whenever I go to sleep I wake up feeling the heat knowing I might wake up in hell any day, but live on the hope that I’m already in heaven. Three is the lucky number. On the third strike most of us discover gold.
Some luckier to discover it earlier. Others just too unfortunate to discover it many strikes later. What we do with these chances is purely personal. As much as there are external forces always trying to sway our votes, it all boils down to how badly we want it. The final decision lies with you and the desire for the “it” is what drives us.
Four years. A landmark for me. This is the number of years it takes for some weird yet great phenomena to take place in my life. During these years I never make choices that will negatively affect me. Call it karma or voodoo. I call it my time. Five is the number of lives I’ve used up. I feel that I still have plenty of lives in me so I proceed with the schedule, not a minute to lose.
Six, a leader of sorts on the football pitch. More of an all-rounder. This also happens to be the time I found out nothing is permanent. Sad but real. Everything has a limit and we should maximize whatever time we have.
Seven, my favourite number. Not that I’m alluding to any positions, just the number. Eight is when I had my first addiction. Not coke, too young for that. Not weed, too cool for that and definitely not alcohol, too smart for that. I’m a gaming freak and don’t regret any bit of it. Hustling starts at a tender age.
Nine and I’m striking with it with the teens. A guru among my peers, adorable among my elders. At ten I leave the lioness’ den and delve into an unknown world. Still thank mama for this. Taught me to be my own. Eleven and I make my debut. Killing it with the verses and massacring the fairer sex. The females were light as a diet.
A modern day moral Pol Pot. Twelve I’m in it to win it. I lay dibs and i hit it. Get my first girl but I fast learn girls are like cars; you have the vintage but always crave for the sports car. Didn’t last but it was worthwhile. At thirteen I’m at the peak of my cycle. Talk like Malcolm walk like the Phantom. Emotional cut-back. Logic achieves way more results than emotions. Fourteen and I am the don. Sit back and watch as people try to relive the times you had before.
A prophet of sorts, just that I bring forth news of style. I made strong ties, broke some and maintained some. My first rave too, and not jam session, rave. A legend in the making. It isn’t easy to be me but I’m perfect at it. Fifteen I have no recollection of. I did say I have plenty of lives, didn’t I? Well I do. I use yet another one of them at sixteen. I’m getting too good at this game. The grim reaper has nothing on me. My second relationship is at this stage. I told you four was significant in my life.
Seventeen and it’s brawn against wit. Being the saint I am, wit always takes the front seat. I’m always behind something but never face the orchestra. (Music has been over-used) Eighteen and things are getting back on track. At the top of the food chain and only decomposers have a chance at getting at me. Nineteen and we sieve the real from the fake. All the big talk is done and in this gospel, faith without works isn’t even a statement.
Moving up the ladder to the money gang. No more kahawa thungu we do it at java. The real don’t really care where you’re from as long as you got your own and that I done did. I’m like the African Ali, change the name and make it a franchise. Twenty years down the line and early lessons are bearing fruit. Hustles I picked up as a boy are paying off as a man. No longer traverse the streets but money knows its way into the account, no wallet. There are no clones in the world; we all bring something different to the table.
At 21 I’m saluting my folks. It’s all down to what I saw in my first years of life. I got my family’s backs any day of the week, they have no substitutes. The friend community from Biafra, Moi Avenue, Utawala, MFA, Daystar and the joints I have frequented. I salute you. Those who’ve hated my guts from day one, I salute you too. We all have a higher power and I salute Him as well. Life as I’ve come to know isn’t about how you live it but rather what you make out of it. It’s a pity that we are born as free beings and have to live as slaves to pay our lives off. I say live in love, love in life and love your life. I’m not about to slow down but I’m also not ready to take any casualties so I live like the gods; high. This is the 21 year salute.”
“Every morning we wake up with the hope of satisfaction. The need to find that which our heart is at serenity with. We at times get tangled in what may seem to be satisfaction. In this reality, we lie in a bed of thorns, in pain yet with the need for rest. Satisfaction does not require perfection but precision and patience are key. We fail in patience in our pursuit of satisfaction. To find love we need patience to be precise; don’t confuse infatuation for love, that’s like confusing a fowl for a hound!”
“The dreams of today harbour the success of tomorrow. The sorrows within us conceal the strengths we possess.”
“A man’s worth is not measured at his optimum but when he is most vulnerable. The ability to maintain his dignity and principles when faced with a challenge demonstrates a man’s worth. The ability to stand by his word regardless of the outcome. A man of worth, attracts class and class brings with it reputation. That is a man of worth.”
“The coined phrase, ‘I got your back’ has come out of our mouths if not once, a multitude of times. It basically has the interpretation of one being by your side no matter what. This kind of person is more or less like a backbone. There to offer support and if disjointed can cause paralysis. Our mums are our backbones, and by mum i mean any woman who means something to you: mother, sister, cousin, aunt, grandmother, friend or girlfriend. Don’t hurt them but instead show them love and treat them with respect. I love all of you, and mum i love you very much!”
“I could see and touch her. Her eyes. I always had satisfaction just by gazing into them. Her lips, silky smooth. How i would have loved to plant mine on them. Her smile made me forget all my woes and look forward to a better tomorrow. Her curvaceous body I always wanted to wake up beside. I would feign sorrow for her lay my head on her chest. The effect she had on me was captivating. Did I love her? I will never know. What I had perceived to be a dream come true proved to be just that. A dream that I was living awake. She was an illusion, a mere mirage. She vanished, no longer existing in my life. What I thought was love was infatuation. I no longer desire her. I look forward to another mirage or reality.”
“A: Awesome; I learnt this word and true to its use I enjoyed 2011. Some moments I would love to erase but hey, if the KCSE had errors and it was proofread who am I to lack them?
B: Blackout; Yes! I had two of those this year, very serious ones. Have a permanent mark for one and the other was dealt with by staff at the Beach Plaza Hotel. I look forward to more encounters Mr. B
C: Contraceptive; Not the pregnancy and STI prevention kit. AH! AH! I mean keeping myself safe from haters and their relatives. Wannabees. Feel free to hate but do it from a far.
D:Drought; Had some severe dry spells at a certain part of the year I even had to settle for morsels(not dog food) I mean facially challenged females, but trust the Lord to desert his flock in their hour of need.
E: Economy; I have learnt to stop whining and look ahead. The situation isn’t changing soon and Java won’t go anywhere so let the spending continue and for the broke and stingy, cassava’s and arrow roots were planted for you.
F: Family; The amount of time I have spent with these guys this year is just one of the best. Fist fights, drunken rants, blackouts, hangover nursing, parties, boys time out. The list is endless but there is more to come, let’s just spend your money till I make mine.
G:Girls;They keep coming and going. Those that left good riddance, those that are around good times ahead and those I’m yet to meet, you are in for the time of your life.
H:Hippy; This is one life I wouldn’t mint living especially if it leads to coast; Salute to my fellow hippies; Mbauch Magnito and Eugene Mwangi!
I:Insomnia; The nightlife is so amazing I almost forgot what it felt like to sleep(alone that is). 2011 thanks for that. I have to sleep next year but that’s if you’re ok with it of course.
J:Jugs; I’m keeping it simple, ladies those things distract men when exposed all the time. We know the globe is warming but you don’t see chimps shedding off their fur.
K: Kenya Cane and Kibao; NKT! Problems but it’s home. Quit this cheap liquor!
L: Lust; Yeah let’s try and professionalize it a bit just to avoid filling the nation with ugly kids, we have too many of those already.
M: Mum; You are definitely the best, that mosquito net u gave me in the middle of the night just because of three mosquitoes was heroic.
N: Naughty; I will tone down on that next year. If I don’t manage to stop just read this again same time next year.
O: Oops! Had plenty of those moments this year and some were just off but others were just spectacular.
P: Popular; I am that not because I ask or look for it but because I was born with it. Let the ranking continue.
Q: Queer; That is what 2011 was. Almost got into a relationship but my 10year old self came to my rescue. Most Eligible Bachelor tag still stands.
R: Rats; My sisters and I have to battle with baby rats attacking our humble home but I hope the Persian cat will be able to at least scare them off if they won’t do it first.
S: Sexy; In the words of LMFAO, I’m sexy and I know it! Not even the elections and world end propaganda will stop that.
T: Tomorrow; That I really don’t put my attention to since today is tomorrows past and I have to leave good memories.
U: Ugly; Just keep off my show if you dress, look, smell, talk, think or have even the slightest idea of ugly in you.
V: Vixens’ Nairobi ladies are starting to step up and for every 10 shagzmodoz there is one vixen, if you go on like this we may just end up producing Miss Eastern Africa.
W: Water; I don’t take anything that hasn’t found its way into the international market.
Y: Yellow; My dear friends the yellow craze has become too much, if you keep up with your kartelian antics we may just end up having to protect the endangered black species.
Z:Z;Zuckerberg;Thank you for Facebook, at least i no longer run away from girls just because i never saw them prior to the meeting. Now try and introduce a feature that shows the real account holders.”