For the love of all things weak

Shout out to all my brothers in weakness
Shout out to all my brothers in weakness
Have you ever been in a situation where you sit at a corner in your cubicle of a bathroom and with nothing but shame and tears covering you? Well, neither have I. I actually can’t remember how it feels to cry. I occasionally cry when I crack a good joke or when someone messes up but that’s about it. Although sometimes I also cry when my niece is crying so that she can know it’s annoying to hear her wail.

I tend to keep my opinions to myself. You can ask anyone who knows me. They’d probably say I’m lying but that’s their opinion and I respect it. Opinions are very funny things. Usually if you say in my opinion, you absolve yourself of any backlash. It’s like saying no offense and going on and on about how my mother’s food tastes like boiled tripe. I’ll hug it out because you said no offense. No, I lied. I’ll smack you in the face and make sure the next time you say anything about a mother it’ll be in your prayers.

I’m not too selective and picky as many people would suggest. I just have a low tolerance level for baseless facts. Like when I log in to Facebook to see up and coming socialites and I’m met by a headline like, “Kenyan men are weak” or “Why you shouldn’t date a girl from the ghetto”, I simply scroll by with my tea. Thing is what drove you to these conclusions? Freedom from expression should be cancelled out by Freedom from depression.

I certainly don’t know why Kenyan men are weak. I am Kenyan and other than my sister who thinks I should help a little more around the house, I don’t consider myself weak. I work, or at least my boss and pay check are in agreement. I have had some good romps and some embarrassing ones but even Goliath was felled by a pebble and one or two of these lasses had circuits for mid-riffs. And no, this is not a response to any article, this is just my opinion.

I won’t talk about my strengths because I’ll only need a paragraph and that would mean using jargons whose meanings I probably don’t understand. I tend to agree with the article. Men have become weak. My older uncles tell me of how their fathers used to be and I have no respect for today’s men. I mean, what woman wouldn’t want a man who doesn’t seek her opinion? All women want a dictator. A man who does without any regards for what you feel or think. At least that’s what today’s men don’t do.

With affirmative action everywhere I turn, I don’t see weak men doing what strong men used to do back in the day. Have a working wife that is always home by 5:30 because the kids need to eat, shower and the homework won’t do itself. A house help? For who? Strong men believed their ladies would do it all and still be ready for them when the lights dimmed or the lantern started to flicker. Weak men nowadays, hire helps and even help further their spouse’s education by sponsoring evening classes and massage her when she’s not in the mood. A strong man paid dowry in exchange for your moods.

I may be confused and misled by the definition of weak. Of course there are obligations both strong and weak men should meet. For instance, you have to pull your weight financially. I’m not going to say that I saw Jay and Bey split the bill so I have to do it as well. You can split the bill if you want to but you need to know I have enough to cover the whole bill. Maybe it’s because I watched too much Renegade instead of Wild Rose so I tend to lean towards the strong man.

The problem with the youth (Actual youth, not political youth) is that we tend to take everything at face value. The United States of America attained independence over a century ago. Let that sink in. A century ago. Some of your grandfathers are still Skyluxxing and discovering the shape of the earth along Waiyaki Way. So you can see Kenya still has a long way to go. I blame men for everything because, they actually thought treating their partners with respect and equity would make them look stronger. Fail brethren. That was an epic fail.

Personally, I fall on the weaker side of the scale. I respect ladies and frankly I think they like weak guys. Strong guys look good in the gym and outside doors but weak guys tend to know what and when to say. Ladies, I’m actually seated leaning in while typing this, do you really want your guy to go back to the stone age to prove that he’s strong? Do you really want that? Or do you want me? Sorry, I got a bit carried away there.

My point or rather very strong opinion is that most people will share their experiences. I’ll have some nasty things to say about girls from certain neighbourhoods and I’ll stereotype every girl from there. Some girls don’t like guys in spectacles because I probably laughed at her when she accidentally fart and make ripping sounds every time I’m around her. As much as it’s difficult to be bold and tell an actual person they messed up and are a pain in all wrong muscles, it’s easier than generalizing.

As a recreational writer I have nothing but the little audience I have to lose so I’ll always strive to be honest. All I’m saying is don’t be a butt hurt because things didn’t go your way.