Dreams

A dream is a defined as a series of thoughts, images and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep. But what happens when you experience your dream? It gives you a sense of satisfaction in most cases not achievable. You dwell in your own world knowing you’re pulling the strings and calling the shots. You can cut when you please and roll one scene multiple times.

Sometimes, however, our dreams turn into nightmares. The source of so much joy and pleasure threatens to be the same thing that shatters your world into the ugly face of reality. I feel like I’m waking up from a dream I never thought would end. Not one of those majestic swan-like mornings you see in music videos. This is the ‘I’m drowning and don’t know how to swim’ waking up.

The kind of dream where you wake up gasping for air. It’s not a pretty sight. There are very many things you can rationalize but one thing I have struggled to put logic behind is emotion. Why do people love? Why do people hate? What brings about sadness? Some scientist somewhere may provide some chemical equations with hormones but I would rather stick to a basic approach.

Love is a beautiful thing. It shakes the very core of your existence. It’s a feeling that has no uniform description. It’s a pure feeling. One that comes free of selfish interests. It takes away power and gives you freedom. You get to feel and see life in another person’s eyes. The beautiful thing about love is that it doesn’t necessarily have to be mirrored. Love is about how you feel, not how you respond to the way another person feels about you. It’s not Newton’s Third Law.

It’s a beautiful feeling, but sometimes a draining one. Love may take away from you more than it gives. It may be the reason you suffer. Love may be the primary reason for your pain but that doesn’t make it any less of a beautiful feeling. Sometimes love becomes toxic and the only option to let go.

Letting go is not a sign of weakness. At times you fight for something that will kill you. It’s not in your best interest. Live knowing that the world is vast and experiences are all that await. You can lose today and find another reason to fight tomorrow. The aim is not to win. It’s to live happily. Enjoy the years you spend on this planet and make the most of it.

Losing someone you love is like waking up from a bad dream. You struggle to get things together at first but in time gather the courage to fall asleep again. It’s okay to break down and gather your pieces slowly. We’ve been conditioned to believe loss is a good thing. It’s not a good thing. There’s no better place to be than with those that love you.

Just like waking up from a bad dream, find the inner peace and courage to close your eyes and rediscover a reason to live. The will to live after loss is greater than any other feeling. Make your life your best dream. Share love and don’t expect much in return. Don’t kill yourself trying to spread love but don’t live miserably denying yourself the feeling either. Live to experience and learn.

We only have one lifetime to do what we can. Don’t live miserably because no one makes it out alive.

Life, all you’ve got

One of the scariest moments has to be feeling your pockets and can’t seem to find your phone. Your heart skipping a beat is an understatement. It will leap over walls and crash into your knees. More often than not you find your phone and enjoy those 15 seconds of your heart calibrating back to normalcy.

But sometimes, that’s not the case. You do your best to locate your phone and can’t seem to find it. It takes a while to accept and move on but you eventually do. Your phone is one of your most prized possessions. Not because of its value or aesthetics but simply because of the secrets and moments you’ve shared.

That’s why it almost always with you. Has a password. A wallpaper that speaks to you. Apps customized to your liking. It’s personal and nobody will ever get what the two of you share. Sometimes your phone is someone. A person you have grown fond of. Someone you love, cherish and want nothing but the best for.

Sadly, life follows the same path. You sometimes do things without thinking you may hurt or lose the person you cherish. That temporary loss can be anything from a break-up with someone you are in a relationship with to doing something strains the relationship you have with a loved one. It’s not permanent. There’s still an opportunity for you to make amends and straighten things out.

At other times, it’s the lost phone and you can’t salvage anything. You can cuss, cry, vent but it’ll never find its way back into your pocket. People are the most valuable assets beside time that we misuse. They say you never miss what you’ve got till it’s gone. That statement couldn’t be any more true.

A cycle technically means going back to where it started. Life starts and ends. You can see death coming from a mile away but nobody will ever prepare you for its impact when it hits. Death is a good and bad thing. It takes away suffering from one person and shifts it to another. The bright side is that you have time to get over loss. There’s no specified duration.

The reality is that grief is a personal experience. No matter how many people used your phone, they may never understand how it feels to lose it. You are never alone but you’re on your own. There’ll be those that will you see you through it all. Those that will walk you through it. But none that will feel the drag of getting through it.

It may seem like the world has suddenly forgotten but don’t take it to heart. The world has its own problems, it can only do so much. Take heart in the fact that tomorrow may be a better day. If not, the next day and the sequence continues. Always remember you hold your destiny in your hands, others can only help you achieve it.

You grieve in your own way and dictate the terms when it comes to getting over it. The most important thing is to appreciate the people around you. In time, all that will be left are memories and if you can’t get the best then you lost value for your time.

For anyone that has experienced loss, time is all you have. Time to accept. Time to heal. Time to pick up the pieces. Time to appreciate. Time to remember. Time to love. Time is all we’ve got.
RIP Herina ‘Nyarkodongo’ Oyugi

When Tides Meet 1of 2

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­“How long is this going to take? I need to be somewhere in the afternoon,” remarked Jaden as the meeting wore on longer than earlier stated. He was meeting a group of investors looking to pump some money into a joint venture but his mind was elsewhere. He was scheduled to meet Kristen at some point in the afternoon

“We’re almost done. I just need to confirm we’re all on the same page before anything kicks off,” replied the chairman as he perused through the last pages of the proposal. Jaden and Kristen had known each other for years. Kristen had been out of the country for a while and even when she came back, would be in a completely different city.

Jaden and Kristen had unnatural chemistry. Despite the distance, they always had a reason to keep in touch. This was the first time in almost a decade they were meeting more than once within two months. The two were set to go for a meet-up at one of Jaden’s friends’ place. This was regular for him but it was something Kristen would not normally do, but chose to. She was a very reserved person.

She was beautiful

Her beauty had levels. You’d see one thing today and the next time you see her; you’d notice something else to intrigue you. She was intelligent and genuine in all her actions. Her smile and composed were very calming to whoever she spoke to. Jaden on the other hand, was nothing close to this. When put on a scale, she would tip the scale in her favour. It was like beauty and the beast, only that beast didn’t own a mansion in this case. But they individually had reasons to keep in contact.

By the time Jaden had confirmed what time he was to meet up with Kristen, there was a football game on. He was an ardent football fan and Kristen, though not a sports fan herself, was supportive of this. All the time he was watching the game, he still wasn’t sure inviting her was the best decision because his friends were nothing remotely close to what she was used to.

They were the complete opposite. Loud, lived life on the edge and always had something silly to say about someone. He wasn’t so worried as to what they’d say but how she would perceive it. Things were going on the football front so he was calming down as time wore on. His friend picked him up in the late evening and they headed to where Kristen was staying.

“Hey, I’m outside,” said Jaden as soon as he got to her place. “Already? Ok, I’ll be out shortly,” she replied. After what seemed like a mini eternity, she emerged. “I hope this is ok. And I won’t be making someone at the venue angry, will I? A lady perhaps?” Jaden as always, was underwhelming in his dressing with jeans, a sweater and sandals. She on the other hand, looked like a gem. A black dress that was slightly above her knee, stockings and to cap it off, a Barcelona jacket, just in case it got cold or the team won.

The drive to their destination wasn’t long and on arrival, Kristen was almost taking for the hills but she barely knew her bearings from there.  They made their way into the house after a quick round of introductions. Kristen and Jaden got comfortable in one part of the living room area and got lost in their own conversation. The two had a lot to say to each other but didn’t know how to express it. They would easily talk about anything, but barely scratched the surface about their feelings for each other.

Jaden was confused

“So, what are you thinking?” Asked Kristen. “About what exactly?” Responded Jaden. “You know what I mean. You’re a smart guy and don’t need me to spell everything out for you.” She said with a smile on her face. They had for long, harboured their feelings from each other because of the fear of the unknown. What of it didn’t work? What if they became too comfortable and started looking outside for happiness? It was a myriad of questions that had no definite answers.

“I don’t know. I…I…I think I just want to be with you and that’s it.” Jaden muttered. This was a topic none of them were prepared to talk about but they decided to. “You don’t have to though. I don’t want you to hate me. Sometimes when you get something you’ve wanted for so long, you lose interest in it. You can be with someone else, no pressure at all.” She amid chatters from Jaden’s friend’s outside the house.

“I’d rather take the risk I guess,” Jaden replied before she pulled him closer and plated a light kiss on his cheek. At this point he wasn’t sure of what to do. He simply held her tight and lingered in the moment thinking of what could be. “Go now. Your friends are probably waiting for you.” She whispered with her bright smile.

He hesitated for a few minutes and went out but was back on the couch with her shortly afterwards. It was as if any minute lost that could be spent with her would never be recovered. Technically that was true because her time in the country was limited and they had to make it count. It was very late into the night and with everybody still up, they cosied up on the couch waiting on one or the other to fall asleep.

“Ey, the room upstairs is ready. You guys can go sleep,” blurted out Viola as she gestured to her room. She was the host and would do the most to make us comfortable. They gathered everything they had, which was Kristen’s purse and phone. They got to the room and lay on the bed facing each other.

“I came here with answers and now I’m even more confused.” Said Kristen. Jaden ran his hands across her face and replied, “Emotion has no logic.”

Catching up

They say the best things in life are free, but so are the worst. I’ve been offline for a while and I’ve seen darker days but not being able to write because I wasn’t motivated was one of the hardest things for me. I love writing and it may not be the best or interesting but it’s one of the ways I self-regulate.

In this period I’ve gone through changes and not just physically. The biggest adjustment other than starting a new job (Yeah, I move around) is that I’m pregnant. I know, it was a roller coaster of emotions for me when I found out as well, but just like Mary and other virgins before us, I accept this great responsibility. Well, I’m not like pregnant pregnant, my stomach has just outgrown my body. I look like a broken condom, free on the upper part, tight on the lower end.

Starting a new job just like any other new experience had its ups and downs. When I joined the organization (It’s a professional place), I had this serious feel around me. I had carried my Samuel L. Jackson to this place. I only smiled when hot tea was served and burned someone’s tongue or got outside the gate. But all that has changed now and I’ve met some really nice fellows, some nicer than others of course. And I’m on a diet as well.

In this period I’ve also realized fear can be a good thing or a bad thing. In my case, it’s an almost bad thing. One of the hardest things in life is being unable to achieve anything because of the fear of what if? The whole world can believe in you but if you don’t, it doesn’t count for anything. It simply means you lost a fight you were refereeing.

I can comfortably write about this because on more than one occasion, I’ve missed out on something big because of fear. Not that I was afraid of my capabilities. The fear stemmed from the fear of rejection. Fear of failure. How do I get back from failing? Do I just forget that someone said no when in all honesty I was the best?

The answer is yes! You get back up and move on. You can’t be afraid to achieve because of an obstacle. If Eve didn’t put the fear of the unknown to the side and take a bite of that apple, you wouldn’t have all these great experiences. In an ideal world where Eve said no, like all girls should to free drinks from strangers at the club, we would all be happy an overpopulated the earth.

But whether you believe in religion or not, is not the discussion here. It is about living in the moment and appreciating every experience you have. The bad ones are not supposed to be looked at as lessons only. You’re free to sulk and be down because something went south. Emotion has no logical explanation and you don’t need to justify it to anyone.

Enjoy the great moments. Don’t dwell to long on either of these situations though and forget to live. Your primary goal in life is to live. How you live it is up to you. Find something that you love to do, even if it’s a person and do that. Have you ever heard of the phrase life is too short? Well, it is very short. One minute you’re being given boobs for free, the next you need to convince someone why you’re the right person to show it to.

And that is life. An opportunity lost is not the end of things. I’d like to use people like Lincoln as examples but you don’t want to exercise power over people in the free world do you? You probably just want to sit back in some exotic location, spend time travelling, learning new things and creating memories. And that’s what you should do. We live too cautiously only to die. And for what? To enjoy retirement? I am guilty of working and forgetting the little pleasures in life. I still run out of money at the end or close to the end of the month and I have no stories to tell. That’s not how I should live.

I don’t want to regret. Think of what could’ve been. I want to ask a girl out on a date. Something out of the normal. Drink ourselves silly and uber home because I’m responsible and still don’t own a car. Life is an adventure and you are the Zach Galifianakis of it. Nobody has rehearsed for anything life has up it’s dirty, rugged sleeves. Feel free to try out new things and if they don’t work out, try something else.

Live without hating and spewing negative energy. You are not a dragon or a cat. Live and love. And it’s okay not to love as well, but hating people takes too much energy away from you. It’s however, allowed to hate the fact that Liverpool fans laugh at Arsenal, yet they don’t know how it feels like to see a Merseyside club lift the Premier League trophy. And kindly note, the current Premier League system started in 1992.

So as you welcome a new month and plan what you’re going to do next year at the same time, do something today as well. It won’t hurt. And get yourself something to drink.

 

Rise of the boy child

So I’m in the office doing what I do best and get paid to do, research for dank memes and share them with my loyal followers. I have to say that this has to be one of the most difficult tasks. Keeping the masses fed and satisfied is not a mean feat. Back to the backbone of the story, which has nothing to do with the dank memes I share. It’s absolutely true though, I share memes like a generator.

Well, I was deep into my research and this lady walked in fuming. Under ordinary circumstances I wouldn’t even be concerned and would be bumping to bad and boujee while exploring the deep dark web. But this wasn’t any normal situation. Have you ever seen a corgi? Let me explain what kind of breed this is. It’s one of those tiny dogs that may or may not be cute but have this really fluffy behinds.

So this lady is pretty compact. She’s very short, with an ok face. There’s really nothing to write home about it because she looks sad even when smiling. It’s like she sees the disappointment you bring even before you do. You can however, write an equestrian on her booty. She has a massive booty and not those one that fluctuate depending on the dressing. It’s one of those all-weather butts.

It jiggles in yoga pants, dresses and jeans. I’m not kidding you. It has no respect for attires. None whatsoever! So she strut in all red into the CFOs office. Let me tell you about our CFO. You don’t just waltz into her office unless you’re psyched up, backed up with facts or just like starting shit. So I knew something was cooking but I’m like Kermit, it’s never any of my business.

A few moments later, my front desk mates followed suit and came out after deliberations I didn’t concern myself with. The day ended pretty well and I couldn’t complain about much except for the fact that there was a shortage in memes.

The next day is when things really heated up. Thuon or as we now call him, Chumbe Nyiri was summoned to the CFOs office. Next thing I know he cancelled lunch, which he was to buy by the way and just walked out with the company mediator, lawyer and part-time IT guy. One thing is that I’ve done is that I have made a few friends so my immediate front desk mate, who is loyal decided to let me in what was about to go down. (You need to have used your Kevin Hart voice there)

Chumbe Nyiri was headed to Central Police station. What I didn’t know was that the previous day Corgi had come to report the cockerels of all cocks to the HR for gross misconduct. You see, Chumbe likes life and as he has proven time and time again, we are visitors on earth and need to use every resources accordingly. He subscribes to esurio ergo manducare.

So he had gone out with another fine one and photographic evidence was shared on social. Corgi did not take kindly to this as she had vested interests and had assumed she was second in line. I forgot to mention Chumbe plucks a few feathers where he earns his daily seed. Corgi had taken offence in that she was skipped in line despite just being under the beak of the cock of cocks.

What did she decide to do? Report the man to the police for harassment. He had not shown any interest in her and she could not believe a sane Chumbe would turn a blind eye to a plate full of seeds. Upon reaching the station, they first had to establish what the main cause of concern was.

At first it was reported that he had called her unprintable names. Names you only buy for immediate pleasure and forget until the next encounter. But could this really be the Chumbe we know? Well, it could be but it wasn’t. The story later morphed into a case of gross ignorance. She felt ignored and snubbed by the man she had her eyes on.

The most appropriate cause of action was to report him and ensure he never turns down another female groin in his life. What kind of man turns down sexual advances? Is he even normal? I have to file a case against him because he has gone against nature! The case was eventually sorted out because Chumbe smiled at the female cop and explained that he had a long itinerary but he could fix her somewhere in between for rubbishing this absurd claims.

Chumbe Nyiri walked back into the office a hero. He had won the fight against forceful courting. He was now a hero and gave the young an opportunity to stand for their rights. The boy child had finally risen from the ashes and was triumphant. Now I just have to say hi to other ladies in the office smiling and bite lemons when greeting Corgi and when she shows interest I will slip up and that would be an unintentional assist from Chumbe.

Thanks to Chumbe, I can slide in

#IstandWithTheBoyChild

The Code of Conduct

I’m sure in the short or semi-long life you’ve lived, a few codes of conduct have been thrown around. Perhaps even more important that the constitution might be Bro Code. This is an elaborate manual of how bros shall conduct themselves around each other. In case you have no idea, I outlined some here, you can always follow up.

I however, realized not everyone is a bro. So what happens when a bro who is not really a bro claims you have gone against the code? Do you suffer the consequences or do you get a pass? These are grey areas that need to be addressed and who better to set standards for communication that a keeper of codes?

A female can be a bro, after vetting

It has come to our attention that some bros from the fairer sex have been denied Bro status despite meeting all the set standards. Let’s make this clear, a bro is someone who comes through in tough times and what’s a harder time than a dry spell?

If a sister can deliver and lob you an Ozil-like pass in these treacherous times, she has more than qualified to be a bro. Some alleged bros feel their hunger pangs are supernatural and will never extend a favour even when in possession of a full platter.

A bro shall be of any sex as long as they come through.

A bro shall not depend on females for money

Let’s put it this way, if you were dead broke and there was nothing left in your chamber of coins, you shall die as a man. It is stated in the broble that a lady shall not give you money and forget. She will always remind you even when it has nothing to do with the money. Some alleged bros have also made it a habit to live off ladies, you are no longer bros.

The only exception when getting cash requisitions from the opposite sex is given to the following groups; your mother, sister and grandmother. Even if the lady is a bro, don’t do it. You never know when she might decide to turn back.

Bros still do not carry handbags

The bro code does not allow you to carry a handbag, even if it belongs to your mother. Handbags are made for ladies and it should remain as that. Even as Valentine’s Day approaches and you want to impress that lady that’s denied you access to her panties, this is not allowed. This is why equity is more important that equality.

There are always scenarios where you may have to carry this accessory. In the event that your mother or sister wants to give you money and the bag is a significant distance away, you can deliver it. If you’re with your girl in a dangerous area. You however, have to carry it in a plastic bag. In the event your significant other blacks out and in this case you need to admit her to a rehab centre.

Bros shall not lie about a conquest to intimidate bros

A new trend that has emerged is of bros earning script writing and editing skills without attending any professional institution. Some bros have made it a habit to always exaggerate conquests or imagine them for the less fortunate.

A bro that lies about a conquest shall not only be disbanded for a given period (depending on the severity). This act may push weaker or less lucky bros to depression and it would not be for a valid cause as stated in the broble.

A bro shall always pay their debt

Bros who do not pay debts may have to go back to the friend zone. A crop of bros has risen from the tribe of Judas that do not like paying debts. A bro is obligated to help a bro in the event of an emergency but only if the needy bro has a good track record of filing returns.

A bro that has a poor credit score shall always be met with the dreadful, “I’m not in a good place right now.” Make it your goal as a bro to always keep your word and other bros shall have no issue handing over their hard earned money.

 

 

The little things

It’s been a while since I got mind clear to write anything that wouldn’t sound weird but I realized I always write unorthodox things so why not. I’m still the same age I was on December 31st so I’m not really a year older yet but I wish you all the best in 2017. In the time I’ve been away from my blog a lot has happened.

So I went on holiday and I came back with a few stories. First is the saying, you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. My cousin happens to be a doctor and when we’re bored, I like listening to random stories about his patients. So, one evening we’re talking and cancer comes up and he started giggling. Not, the school girl giggle, the grown man one where you let out chuckles. It was manly, trust me.

After inquiring he goes on to tell me about the story of a guy who passed away from penile cancer. It sounds very cruel, but give it time, it takes a completely different turn of events. Well, the story goes like this. A guy is brought to the hospital with advanced penile cancer and the only option is to dismember his most loyal member.

The guys went through all the pep talk of why he needed to do it if he was to enjoy more days on this our barren earth. After weighing the pros and cons, it occurred to him there was more to life than a boner. I mean, you can still feel that tiny throb even if the key instrument is missing. So he went ahead with the surgery.

Guess what? He survived and was in his room recovering when the anesthesia wore off. As a man, you’re taught to face your fears and he most certainly did. He lifted his cover, took a peek and remembered how his wife liked being on all fours even when not cleaning the house. He let out a loud yelp and collapsed on his bed.

What would you do if you woke up and found your manhood missing?

And just like that, Wuon Ng’ane was no more. I burst out laughing as well but I sort of got where he was coming from. Picture a scenario where he asks his wife for something and she replies with a, “No wonder you don’t have a penis.” That can take the last breath from any man, even the former ones. No offence Caitlyn.

I also managed to face one of my fears over Christmas. Well, I didn’t necessarily face it willingly, but I still did. Anyone that knows me, will tell you large water bodies and I do not appear in the same sentence. So last year, my cousin invited us to her place since she was opening a new house, which was just beautiful. I mean, it had a bar inside and yeah, it had a bar with the stools and everything. That’s all you need to make a house attractive scientifically.

The distance between her home and ours is about 230km so we had a journey on our hands. The logical thing would have been to follow the set road and get to our destination. But no, my uncle had this random idea that we should use the ferry because it took less time and would have been scenic.

On the way there, the old man decides we can’t get to our destination early so we made a detour to this resort on Rusinga Island. It’s set on a picturesque slope that runs down to the lake. The cottages are the simplest things you’ll come across and you could tell a lot of thought was put into building them.

One of the cottages at Wayando Beach Eco Lodge

The owner is an American lady who was married to a guy from the area and she decided to relocate there even after her partner’s passing. It made me think, would I have done the same? Moved to Los Angeles and start a business there? Since you’ve insisted, I think I would.

Time came for us to get to the other side of the lake and I was not enthusiastic at all. One, the company in-charge of the ferries had the most incompetent employees and did I mention I don’t like large water bodies? You have to reverse your car into the ferry, sounds easy but not when a random old guy has puppies stuffed in a carton box and doesn’t want to move.

This was the moment of truth

As a driver, I was at liberty to stay in the vessel and I gladly chose to do that. I didn’t like it one bit. It took a whole 45 minutes and I couldn’t see where I was going. At one point it was just the wind, hyacinth and the lady in the next car checking me out until she fell asleep and started snoring.  We did get to the other side unscathed but I chose to use the longer route on the way back.

What happens when this thing runs out of fuel here?

I spent twelve days in the village and I came to appreciate a few things. Family is one. They may annoy you and get on your nerves at times but some of the best memories I have are with family. Like my grandmother telling me drinking whisky will “Mak ii ka chieth!” loosely translating to it will churn my stomach like shit.

It’s another year and I honestly have no resolutions. I treat each day exclusively. I will rate my achievements gradually. You need to appreciate the smaller things in life (Like your penis) in order to get the bigger picture. So far, it’s not been a bad year, except for the doctor’s strike which is a tricky subject depending on what side of the paycheck you’re seated.

I also got a message from a lovely lady that told me she likes my writing. She may have been paid by my mother for all I know but it was still a good thing. Get checked for cancer early enough and keep it 87+3 whenever you can, because keeping 100 is too mainstream.

One man can make a difference

In life every experience is a lesson and I’m a good student, you can ask anyone that shared a class with me in University. I’m those students that have five different types of pens and divide my notes according to the lecturer and their mood. My notes got people A’s. Of course they can’t step up and say, “You my G are the real MVP.” They’d rather take that shine, but I’m good, I’m beaming.

So, in the past month or two I’ve been really quiet and haven’t really posted anything. I’d blame writer’s block but honestly, I lacked inspiration. I didn’t have anything that made me want to sit down in my cotton-white white boxers, with a glass of red wine and just jot down my thoughts. Every time I got myself in a position to write, I would jot down two lines and that was it.

My front desk mate at work kept on pressuring me to write and even went to the extent of calling me to write when I was on holiday. She’s got a lot of nerve but she also triggered a lot of thought in me. I’ve seen a lot happen over the days. Just today in the morning, a friend lost his daughter. You try your best to find something appropriate to say but what can you say?

“I’m sorry, she’s in a better place? That was God’s plan?” I haven’t talked to him and doubt I’ll be saying anything any time soon but I feel his pain. And that is partly what made me want to write. I remember this one post I wrote in 2013 and I was at a very low point in my life. I wrote it as a diary, not necessarily target to lift anyone or anything along those lines.

One lady called me after that and we talked at length about what I was experiencing. She was going through a hard time and my post spoke directly to her. I have the ‘Scopare il mondo. Salvare la tua anima’ mentality. However, when you can help one person have a good day, isn’t that good thing? So I decided I’ll write today. I don’t know what my subject is but I’m just going with the flow, the words will come as I go on.

I’ve been brought up around a close knit family so I value friendship, loyalty and respect. In the recent past I’ve been in situations where I’ve done things that I had no responsibility doing but did them anyway. What I’ve come to understand is that we’re not all the same. Some people will show you gratitude for what you offer while others will not.

But does that mean I should change and stop helping people because a few people couldn’t show gratitude? I would but I wouldn’t live in comfort knowing I could’ve done something but chose to do nothing. Over time you may realize, it’s the small things that matter. You can have money but you will barely ever have the most money.

Happiness is innate. You derive your joy from within and that’s what most of us have failed to grasp. We rely on other people to give you joy. When was the last time you enjoyed your own company? Just sat by yourself and did something you love for your own satisfaction? If I said one more time that I’m not in a relationship, you’d think I’m advertising my singlehood. Well, I am but that’s beside the point.

I see people suffer and sacrifice more than they need to for relationships to work. The word doesn’t even have real in it so most people do it just for the cameras and likes. Companionship needs more than love and posting your significant other as an MCM or WCW. It needs you to know there’s an equal distribution good as bad with anyone.

I don’t picture perfection in any situation but I have visions of ideal situations. A situation where you treat other people with the respect they deserve and not manipulate or take advantage of them. It may not work in a capitalistic world where everyone is interested in their own wellbeing even if it comes at the expense of other people.

What’s really sad is that most people would rather play the victim nowadays. You’d rather shift blame to someone else to avoid taking responsibility. It’s always some else’s fault which begs the question, what is your responsibility?

The sooner you learn you are not just on the world but of the world the better. Play your part in building a better society and spreading a smile to different faces across the globe. You just like the next person are good at something. It may not be raking in any money bit it can make a difference.

Try cutting your pinky off and see how efficient your hand will be. I bet you’re not so willing to take the risk but you know you’ll lose almost half of your hand’s functionality. So what makes you think that even without being the most outspoken figure, you can’t make a difference?

Don’t give anyone the power to determine your happiness. People will disappoint you and make excuses for their own failures. But there are people who will also uplift you and show you the good side of humanity we barely get to see.

It’s a matter of perspective and you choose what you want to see. If something bad happens, take your time, deal with it in your own way and find a way to get past it. Time is the only true healer. I’ve ranted a lot but I think I needed to just note down what was in my head and put it out there.

I also don’t think Hillary lost because she’s a woman like everyone is trying to portray it. Trump may not have been your favourite but he was elected in a legally due process and the least you can do is give him time to succeed or fail. The power lies in your hands, you just need to show how badly you want it.

 

When they come in between you

“I’m not sure this is working out,” said Turner as Shirley sat on the sofa with her face buried in her hands. He walked out of the door with tears in his eyes knowing it was either him or her. Turner and Shirley had been dating for two years but their relationship had hit a rocky patch and despite everything they tried, things always seemed to get worse.

They met in their final year of college and instantly took to liking each other. Tim was mango; soft on the outside but rough on the inside. He was always calm on normal occasions but he would occasionally let the rough side come out.

Shirley on the other hand was a free spirit. A very decent lady who was easy to get along with. She did her best to make everyone happy and was everyone’s favourite. Their friendship was based on the fact that both of them came from low points in their lives and found comfort in putting a smile on each other’s faces.

Their friendship grew over the course of time and so did their trust in each other. At first, it was nothing more than mutual concern for each other’s wellbeing. Shirley was concerned that Turner had was too aloof with his emotions and barely let anyone get past the basics of knowing him. She was concerned that he was suffering in silence and it was affecting his social life.

Turner on the other hand was interested in Shirley because he felt she was not fulfilling her full potential. She was always doing her best not to offend anyone and in the end she would end up getting hurt. He had seen this before and had been on the opposite end of the spectrum. He knew what it felt like to hurt someone and see their life spiral out of control.

In Shirley, he saw a lady that would take him to heights he had not experienced before. She was calm, focused, beautiful and made him appreciate the little things in life. She had been through a lot in her life but you couldn’t tell from the smile she always showed the world. Turner saw the smile and all the possibilities that were behind that smile.

Shirley liked Turner for who he was. He was a bit younger than her but they found comfort in each other. Over time, they grew closer and all those hugs and laughter turned to a kiss goodbye and sharing of great moments together. Things were taking their course and you could tell these two were meant to be together.

Both valued their privacy and kept their exploits under wraps. They didn’t want anyone to know what they were up to and kept their secret between them. Things were going well for the two and there was nothing but love between them. For a while, nothing could go wrong because it was always what they meant to each other that mattered.

After graduating college, they both found themselves in different industries. Turner found himself in the media industry and Shirley was in the marketing field. These were environments they had not been exposed to in their lives. They were both on field assignment and this meant they had to spend time apart.

The distance didn’t make much difference in the beginning because they would always yearn for each other. Their romance grew as they would be happy to see each other and would tear the place apart. Time was beginning to bring some distance between them though. Turner was always working late and would not find adequate time to spend with Shirley.

Shirley didn’t find any problem in him not being around and always did her best to make herself available. At work, Turner was having a hard time at all the staff parties keeping to himself to avoid putting himself in a precarious situation. He would stay up late, barely drink and head home. He kept this up for a while but he finally caved in.

He would go out with his colleagues on a regular basis and found comfort in his assignment partner, Mish. She was in a relationship with a business man who was barely around. She would confide in Turner and tell him about her love life. Turner would listen to her and they found themselves spending more time together.

Whenever they worked late, they would have a glass or two of scotch before heading home. One night, Mish was very uneasy. She kept on checking her phone and was absent minded. “What’s up today?” asked Turner as he handed her a glass of scotch. “It’s nothing.” She replied still looking at her phone. “Come on. It’s me. You know you can tell me anything.” He said as she put her phone aside.

“Well, it’s my wedding anniversary and my husband hasn’t even sent me a message,” she replied as tears rolled down her cheeks. Turner sat on her desk facing and placed his glass on her desk. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be back,” he said with a smile. He ran out of the office and came back with a gift in his hand.

“Happy anniversary!” She took the unexpected gift and her eyes were filled with tears. “When did you get this?” she asked amid sobs. “I listen,” he replied as he embraced her. They spent the night drinking and headed home at almost dawn.

Turner walked into the house and Shirley was waiting for him. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick? Couldn’t you even have called?” Turner couldn’t explain the fact that he had spent the night out with someone’s wife on her anniversary while his girlfriend spent the night worrying about him.

That was the beginning of their problems. Mish would call Turner anytime she felt lonely and he would heed her call. His actions made him and Shirley drift apart. Suddenly, the fun filled sex escapades were replaced by arguments and mistrust.

Shirley started drifting from Turner and their affection was slowly being washed down the drain. She couldn’t understand how Turner could forget where they came from because of a stranger. Turner on the other hand couldn’t understand how the person he’d opened up to didn’t trust him enough to be on his own.

On the fateful day, Turner was working late and it had skipped his mind that he and Shirley were supposed to have dinner. She called his phone and Mish answered. Shirley felt that Turner had crossed the line and betrayed her. She called a friend over because she needed someone to talk to.

As they sat at the dining table, she started crying. Her friend went over to her and hugged her. As he leaned in looking into her eyes, Turner walked in. He froze and dropped his laptop bag. He picked up his bag, walked past them and went to the bedroom. Shirley’s friend left and she went into the bedroom.

“How could you?” She asked with tears in her eyes. Turner didn’t utter a word as he packed a pair of boxers, socks and a t-shirt in his bag. He was burning with rage but he loved Shirley to much too let it show. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she shouted following him into the living room. “I’m not sure this is working out,” said Turner as Shirley sat on the sofa with her face buried in her hands. He walked out of the door with tears in his eyes knowing it was either him or her.

 

 

Such is Life

Freedom works best for the free,

And the free and not necessarily free,

We are bound by promises,

Shackled by lies and deceit,

But such is life.


At times freedom is painful,

You have to let go,

Give another life,

At your own expense,

But such is life.


Do not cry for me,

For I will not do the same,

Trust is not always rewarded with loyalty,

Sometimes, it begets betrayal,

But such is life.


Live well and do good,

Expect nothing in return,

Be welcoming but be cautious,

Those you sleep with can stab you,

Because such is life.